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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835

Re: Concerned about what children see as normal

05/03/07 11:30 AM

Well, my father cheated on my mother, left her for the OW, lived with her for a couple years before moving on to a seemingly endless string of skinny blonds until he met and married his current wife a few years ago.

What did I learn? Well, I knew I never wanted to be like my mother. Our household fell apart if Dad was one day late with the CS check. I swore I would never rely on anyone else for my survival and I would never have kids unless I could support them without a dime from their other parent. I was always told that my parents divorced because they married too young (until this was corrected later with the truth RE the affair) so I was determined to not marry until I was at least 25 (I didn't). I was also convinced that I didn't need to marry to have a full life. I decided I would rather be alone than married to the wrong person who'd screw me over in the end.

So I went to college and go an engineering degree - I have no doubt that come what may I could take care of myself. Before my husband I had few serious relationships. I was quick to end a relationship if the person didn't suit me. After all, I didn't need a husband and I certainly wasn't settling for a fixer upper. If it wasn't fun anymore - it was over. Once I was about 22 I decided that IF I ever married it would have to be to someone who I knew understood and agreed with my sentiments on marriage. That divorce isn't an option - working it out is the only option. And someone I could trust would come to me with problems instead of screwing around to make a point. I felt like I met that person in DH. He was cheated on, raped in court, but still not bitter. He was resolute about doing his best to make the situation better, without dwelling on his problems. He was open and interested in my ideas on how he could be a better NCP - since I myself had one and his parents were still married. I saw him take my ideas and run with them - being a good parent was his number 1 priority. Being good to me was a close second. So in him I saw what I was looking for. Someone who could handle my big ball of crazy. LOL.

--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Concerned about what children see as normal	focusedon2	05/02/07 09:24 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	BeckaLeigh	05/04/07 07:40 AM
How do they know about the cheating...	gr8Dad	05/04/07 06:13 AM
Re: How do they know about the cheating...	focusedon2	05/04/07 06:22 AM
Re: How do they know about the cheating...	Redlegg	05/04/07 06:48 AM
Re: How do they know about the cheating...	Redlegg	05/04/07 04:20 PM
And if one of your children...	gr8Dad	05/04/07 06:59 AM
Re: And if one of your children...	rocketgirl	05/04/07 07:32 AM
Re: And if one of your children...	TGSM	05/04/07 08:13 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	focusedon2	05/03/07 06:28 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/04/07 12:03 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	hippie1981	05/03/07 05:54 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Avaya	05/04/07 08:50 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	preemiemom	05/03/07 09:35 PM
Tolerance and Acceptance	KiwiGirl	05/03/07 10:33 PM
Re: Tolerance and Acceptance	rocketgirl	05/04/07 06:12 AM
Re: Tolerance and Acceptance	TGSM	05/03/07 10:49 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	rocketgirl	05/03/07 06:14 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	hippie1981	05/03/07 09:22 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	elliesmom	05/04/07 12:09 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/04/07 01:57 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	rocketgirl	05/04/07 03:48 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	rocketgirl	05/04/07 12:13 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/04/07 11:34 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	TGSM	05/03/07 09:27 PM
Actually, yes it does...	gr8Dad	05/04/07 06:20 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Avaya	05/03/07 08:54 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Witch23	05/03/07 09:14 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/03/07 01:04 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Avaya	05/03/07 01:49 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/03/07 03:00 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Avaya	05/03/07 03:02 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/03/07 03:16 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Avaya	05/03/07 03:24 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/03/07 05:56 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Witch23	05/03/07 09:33 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	leegirl	05/03/07 09:22 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	spinnerdegrassi	05/03/07 09:33 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	elliesmom	05/03/07 11:30 AM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	KiwiGirl	05/02/07 10:14 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	JennyLynn	05/02/07 10:17 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	preemiemom	05/02/07 09:52 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	jsp	05/02/07 10:19 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	JennyLynn	05/02/07 10:22 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	Gecko	05/02/07 09:38 PM
Re: Concerned about what children see as normal	JennyLynn	05/02/07 09:40 PM

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