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forgiveme
recently joined

Reged: 05/14/07
Posts: 4

Re: First off...

05/14/07 07:32 PM

In response to AlmostHeaven:

Yes, I hear you. I have tried, and tried. I know, it's weak of me not being able to "just do it." I hate myself more and more each time I "fail." I haven't seen him in awhile, in attempt to do just as you suggest, get my head on straight. I'm trying my best to make this decision, knowing that it's highly unlikely that I'll end up with this other man on the other side. But, even assuming that, I want out. Even imagining myself on the other side, alone, I feel like I can breathe. I feel free and like there's finally air to breathe. I'm so afraid I'll look back and be sorry, so sorry, and think it was all a HUGE mistake. But I'm also afraid I'll stay here, not be in love, and then it'll happen again. I'll betray him and have an affair again. I so don't want to do this to him, ever again, have an affair, I mean. I'm also scared I'll stay in a loveless marriage, and end up looking back at my life, thinking "that" was a huge mistake??? He, my maybe STBX, tells me not to settle for him, that he does not want that, nor does he deserve that. I agree with him. I want him to have someone that will be in love with him, and can adore him and look up to him. I just don't think that can be me?

Edited by forgiveme (05/14/07 07:40 PM)

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
the guilty party	forgiveme	05/14/07 01:59 PM
First off...	almostheaven	05/14/07 06:58 PM
Re: First off...	forgiveme	05/14/07 07:32 PM
Re: First off...	almostheaven	05/14/07 08:14 PM
Re: First off...	googledad	05/15/07 12:13 AM
Re: First off...	yregna	05/15/07 09:50 AM
Really and truly?...	almostheaven	05/15/07 11:45 AM
Re: the guilty party	yregna	05/14/07 06:01 PM
Re: the guilty party	forgiveme	05/14/07 07:22 PM
Re: the guilty party	Relayer	05/15/07 09:22 PM
Re: the guilty party	HatesMaury	05/14/07 06:10 PM
Re: the guilty party	joym525	05/14/07 06:26 PM
Re: the guilty party	CiCi	05/14/07 02:51 PM
Re: the guilty party	yregna	05/14/07 05:51 PM
Re: the guilty party	nrvouswrk	05/14/07 02:43 PM
Re: the guilty party	forgiveme	05/14/07 02:50 PM

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