Since you don't seem to want to listen to anyone else unless they tell you want they want to hear, maybe you will listen to me since I actually worked in Family Law in Arizona.
First of all...I don't know where you got that "most divorces take 3 months in Arizona"...it's simply NOT true. The ONLY way THAT is going to happen is 1) you have a Non-Covenant and 2) ya'll file a "Consent Decree", which means you have to agree on EVERYTHING.
Given what you've said so far, I'm not the least bit surprised that ya'll have been at this for a year...keep it up and you'll still be arguing when the kids all graduate from high school (or college). The longest divorce I was ever involved with lasted 8 years; they were very wealthy when the divorce started and had nothing when it ended...and I mean NOTHING; no houses, no cars, no boats, no "toys", no jewelry, no club memberships, no money, businesses and careers destroyed...their own children wanted NOTHING to do with them! It's called "scorched earth"...the willingness to totally destroy everything JUST so the other person doesn't get it. I saw one other case that was heading in that direction...husband was an attorney with an office in Biltmore, wife had some "boutique" in Scottsdale; it wasn't his first affair (or hers either), but this time he was "in love" and she was NOT going to put up with THAT. She went to his office...WITH THEIR DAUGHTER...and destroyed it; she printed out a list of client and mailed it to the Arizona Republic, she took active case files and mailed them to opposing counsel and then taking files of potential clients...gave them to HER attorney.
Second...Arizona does allow for alimony/spousal support and I noticed that you marked a few “considerations” in support of it being granted:
--- Contributed to the educational opportunities of the other spouse;
--- The contribution of the spouse seeking maintenance to the earning ability of the other spouse; and
--- The extent to which the spouse seeking maintenance has reduced that spouse's income or career opportunities for the benefit of the other spouse.
Unfortunately, in looking for what “supports” your position, you neglected the other “considerations” which, based on the “facts” mentioned at the end of this list, preclude (prevent) an award of support alimony/spousal:
--- Lacks sufficient property, including property apportioned to the spouse, to provide for that spouse's reasonable needs;
--- Is unable to be self-sufficient through appropriate employment or is the custodian of a child whose age or condition is such that the custodian should not be required to seek employment outside the home or lacks earning ability in the labor market adequate to be self-sufficient;
--- The age, employment history, earning ability and physical and emotional condition of the spouse seeking maintenance; and
--- The financial resources of the party seeking maintenance, including marital property apportioned to that spouse, and that spouse's ability to meet that spouse's own needs independently.
The facts are: married for 18 years; the first 6 were spent with you working while he earned his Degree; he’s been in practice for 13 years, 12 at the time the divorce was filed; you both earn the same amount and it is a “guess” that you have 2 children and they are probably between 10 and 14.
Also…the last item you listed…does NOT support a consideration of alimony/spousal support based upon the facts. So UNLESS you want to end up with half of………NOTHING (see below), quit fighting for what you are NOT going to get!
Third…Arizona is a “community property” state and as such, it does NOT matter who paid for what or who contributed to what or in whose name it is in (there are strict exception)…EVERYTHING acquired DURING the marriage belongs EQUALLY to BOTH parties. That means that he IS entitled to HALF of your 401(k), HALF of the equity of the marital home and HALF of ANY assets.
With that being said…your husband’s law Degree AND his practice ARE “marital assets” which means…yep…you are entitled to “half” of them. Now, you will want to hire an “expert” (can’t remember what company does this) who will evaluate your husband’s law practice and submit an appraisal. I caution over-inflating the value, because frankly, in Arizona, attorneys are like golf courses and swimming pools…there is one in almost every backyard. A “sole practitioner” can make a comfortable living, but they will never be rich or wealthy because the very nature of their practice prohibits it…even with an “of counsel” assisting them. I could give you a better direction, but I don’t know his area of law or what city he is in.
And along with assets, you have liabilities. Yeah it sucks that you are paying everything right now, but not to worry, half of everything you are paying will be debited against his side of the spreadsheet and credited to yours.
My advice is to QUIT FIGHTING!!! The MORE ya’ll fight, the LESS ya’ll will have in the end to split because ya’ll’s attorneys will have it. Take a look at the assets…divide the total in two and then you EACH take WHOLE items that equal or come as close as you can to your “share”. ANY items that you BOTH want or NEITHER wants…you don’t’ argue, you just sell it and split the money. ALL assets assumed/assigned will be transferred into the person’s name BEFORE the final decree is signed.
You do the SAME thing with ya’ll’s liabilities. You make a list, you split it equally…each taking “whole” debts. If there is an inequality, one pays the other cash to make up the difference. ALL debts assumed/assigned will be transferred into the person’s name BEFORE the final decree is signed.
STOP all the emotional bullshit of "s/he didn't do this of s/he did that"...what past is PAST...it's ALL about numbers now.
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!