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Let me ask another question. Is it customary to go back and forth a little on settlement proposals? Will the first one be a little high and theoretically you meet in the middle? Do they ever just come from a lawyer with what they think is really fair and what the judge would do?

---> A little. Unless youare giving EVERYTHING, plan on a LOT. What a lawyer thinks is fair? Huh? In a divorce, the matra is "I want my fair share and my fair share is 100%"



The only thing I can think of that she might not understand yet that will cause court battles is that I will need some income to live.


In the past it has been paycheck to paycheck so when you take anything out to shelter me and be with my kids is money directly out of her past pocket.

-----> ROTFLMOA

The reality of the situation is anything she adds to her income to maintain the same life - sort of indirectly goes to finance my life even if it is not much of a life. One of the things that will also be hard for her is I spent no money on myself except for lunch every day. Most of my clothes were christmas gifts and some are 20 years old. I did eat food, use water, and put gas in my 10 year old truck, but I didn't use a lot of money. Understandably a hard thing to go back to work just to give it to me, but perhaps her lawyer will do the right thing and make her understand reality and she will make sacrifices or increase her pay. Learning the reality of two households can't live as cheap as one through the court system seems time consuming, painful, costly, and not smart.

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I think you are doing all the right things but are a bit naive. First, you make 10 times the amount she does, long time marriage, blah blah.

As far as moving out, you might as well start packing now because you will be ordered to leave. She is contesting (not the divorce as much as your proposed settlement). Her lawyer is going to whip her up into a frenzy (to rack up billable hours, which you will pay).

While you are all "getting along" somewhat, once it gets down to it, it's pretty unusal for people to agree to everything, espeically when kids and huge differences in income are involved.

Also, it is best to move out anyway, because the next thing you know, she will be "falling" down stairs, or getting a black eye (from a door knob) or whatever. Believe me, it happens all the time. Or you can say F-U to her (which is what happened to me) and have an OP issued and then you are out and it hurts you in court.

100% whatever you are served by her is going to suprise you.

Just move out and suit up for battle.

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GO CUBBIES!!!!

Edited by Relayer (05/29/07 06:21 AM)

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