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Reged: 06/06/07
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Grandma in Turmoil
06/06/07 10:47 AM
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I live in Virginia and my grandson was born in April 2004 in Georgia. My daughter and the father of my grandson were not married and started having problems soon after my grandson was born. It got to a point were it was violent and they started abusing each other physically in front of my grandson. When he was 8 months old, January 2005, my daughter and I mutually agreed that I would bring him with me to Virginia because she kicked the father out of the house, had to work 2 jobs to pay her mortgage, and wait until the house was sold to move back here. It took her about 9 months to make the move to Virginia all the while I raised him like my own. I work a full-time job and my mother (great-grandma) watched him during the day. During the 9 months she was still in Georgia, she visited a few times and sent clothes and money to help out. When she moved back to Virginia, she got a job and took back the "parental role" and I had him on weekends because he was very attached to me. In July 2006, she met a guy and moved in with him in September 2006 and got pregnant and had a baby girl in May 2007. I was not too happy with this decision because she hardly knew this guy and to just put my grandson in an environment like this was not appropriate. Soon after they lived together she already had some issues with the relationship because he had joint custody of his 3 children from a previous marriage and she could not cope having these children around and just personality conflicts which is understandable because she hardly knew him. With these issues and her working hours, my grandson practically got back in the routine of being with me the majority of the time. All of a sudden a few months ago, she told me that she wanted her son everyday including weekends and she would allow at her discretion when he can visit me. I was in shock and did not understand why she would all of a sudden make that kind of a decision. A few days after she told me that, I got a phone call from her “boyfriend” who pretty much told me to quit interfering in their family unit and that they were married since September 2006. I could not believe all this was happening and my own daughter could not tell me all this. Our relationship has been strained and hardly speaking to each other and I hardly see my grandson. My grandson does not feel comfortable with his “stepfather” because he always told me that he does not want to go to their house and I have heard a few things from my grandson on the way he has been disciplined by the stepfather and he has been hit on the chest when he misbehaves but there have not been any bruises to show abuse. I am in touch with his day care just to check a couple times a week to see how he is doing and his behavior has been disruptive and I feel it is because he is confused of why he has not seen me as much as he use to. I have seen a lawyer to see what options I have and the lawyer pretty much said the appellate courts do not interfere with “parents’ rights” to raise their children as they see fit. The only way I can even have a chance in court is if there has been an abuse officially on file with CPS or if they were on drugs, homeless, etc. I feel helpless and don’t want to wait until something awful happens to my grandson in their care but I don’t know what to do at this point. I am in fear daily to his well being.
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