BetsyR
member
Reged: 07/12/07
Posts: 187
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Re: is this settlement fair to both of us?
07/13/07 07:51 PM
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Thanks, Goodmom, for your good advice!
You wrote, "I would ask for some of the equity in the business as well, since it is worth considerably more than the house."
I want as clean a break as possible. I don't want anything to do w/ his business, which he's kind of running into the ground anyway. I'd rather have more than 50% of an IRA.
You wrote, "How much you get all depends on the judge. Ask for more than you want and settle for less."
In NY, it's quite rare, I believe, for divorcing couples to end up in front of a judge. I want us to agree on a settlement in a 4-way conference w/ him & me & our lawyers. That's why I'm asking for advice on this forum, in addition to talking to my lawyer. But I will do what you say & ask for more than I expect to get. How much more though? If I want 2/3 of our total assets, should I ask for 3/4?
You wrote. "Since the children are adults, he gets to decide who the beneficiary is. Now, if you get alimony, you could have it put in the court order that he has to have you named as beneficiary during the duration of alimony. And with the length of your marriage and given the big disparity in your income, you will probably be able to get alimony for at least half of your marriage if not longer."
As I said, I don't want alimony if I can possibly get more assets. I mentioned having the kids as the beneficires on the life ins. policy b/c I don't want him to w/draw money against his policy to spend on his new honey.
"BTW, his working less is an attempt to show that he has lower income and shouldn't pay alimony. Don't let him get away with that nonsense. Make sure you have copies of all of your tax returns for the past 3 years to show that he is doing this deliberately." Yup, I think so too! I got the returns. I'll have the business valued if he claims he's too poor to do what I ask. The business, & the license I helped him earn, are both marital assets in NY.
Betsy
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