BetsyR
member
Reged: 07/12/07
Posts: 187
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Re: is this settlement fair to both of us?
07/13/07 08:29 PM
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Thanks so much Matilda! After reading your useful advice, I feel that I'm on the right track. I think I have a good attorney.
Stbx has indeed been hiding assets from me -- he opened a new bank acct & send statements to a PO box I just found out about, for example. I believe our joint tax returns have not been accurate for a few years. If he hid income from the IRS, then karma's gonna bite him in the nether regions! Unfortunately, I believed what little he told me about his business, & I signed those returns too. Does anyone on this forum have experience w/ the IRS innocent spouse rules?
I changed the locks on the house but he had already snuck back in & taken some papers. I replaced them, but that takes sooo much time & effort!
"I am assuming you are teaching if you are talking about updating credentials." Sorry I can't reveal what I do. It's an unusual occupation & would give me away if stbx saw this post. But I need a master's to do my job.
"If you forego spousal support, then calculate an estimated amount it would have been and ask for additional assets." Thanks! Will do!!
"You need to get moving on this before he starts splurging on his second childhood dreams of the sports car etc." Too late! He already bought the OW a new car, a cruise, & lots of other stuff. I intend to ask for the $$$ I think he spent on her BEFORE any division of assets. Do you think I'll get it? Even if I don't, it will be fun to see his face when I ask!
"don't let your emotions rule you."
Great advice but oh so hard to follow!
" I hope you can find a good confidante in order to bounce ideas off of about what is fair. Possibly your parents, good friend, ??"
I'm blessed w/ several confidantes. But if I'm close enough to someone to talk about these messy details, that person won't be a good judge of what's fair. My family & friends all want me to ask for the moon.
One very good thing: there is enough for both stbx & me to live very comfortable, though not extravagant, lives -- as long as the OW doesn't take him to the cleaners. I dont want wife #2 to enjoy the house that wife #1 can't afford to keep. I don't want the lovebirds having romantic getaways every other weekend unless I can afford to fly to visit my kids when I want! But if we live the lifestyles we've had up to now, there's enough for 2 households.
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