Googledad, your reply to my question is completely clear, but unfortunately I didn't phrase my question clearly. Would you mind answering again? Many thanks.
We have enough easily divisible assets -- IRAs, stocks, cash, etc. so that we can each live on, say, 40% of the total. So far so good.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Split them equally by agreement or take a chance and have a judge decide . Any chance of a stipulated agreement ?
We also have a large house. I can't live in it b/c I just took a job 3 hrs. from home (there are no jobs in my specialty near home.) Hubby doesn't want it b/c he's living w/ his mistress & b/c he realizes he's helpless around the house. Hubby also won't communicate w/ me, so we simply cannot sell the house together. He won't answer emails about emergency repairs, or paying overdue property tax bills that were sent to his mistress' house, or setting a value on the house. And at this point, I'm not willing to put in the sweat equity the house needs unless I get all the benefit of it. So the house should go to me.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Yup , ask for all the equity in the house , he can easily quit claim it as it's paid off .
And the business should go to him. It's his solo professional practice. However, under NY law, it's a marital asset, & so is his advanced degree -- I supported him while he earned it. So I would like to trade the house, plus some investments, for the business. We'd have a nice clean split.
>>>>>>>>>> Yup , ask for another asset to make up for the greater value of the business , you get the house and another asset of equitable value and he keeps the business .
But if I then ask for spousal support, which he would presumably fund through his practice, it seems to me like double-dipping. First we split some assets, then I keep going back for more of HIS asset. That doesn't seem fair, does it? That's what I meant when I asked about giving up a claim to his business.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It's not double dipping , you are asking for SS based on the income generated by the business , not for any additional equity .
Another problem I worry about: if he pays alimony, I think he'll do whatever it takes to get the amount reduced in the near future. He'd cut back his hours, retire early, hide income, whatever. If there's no alimony, I don't have to listen to how hard up he is, & he can carry on his practice w/o having to give me a dime. Doesn't that sound better? Am I missing something?
>>>>>>>>>>>>> In a long term marriage the courts would usually award permanent modifiable SS . A voluntary reduction in his income shouldn't be grounds for modification , especially if he has other assets . You could always just ask for even more of the marital assets .
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.