CiCi
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Reged: 03/28/07
Posts: 493
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Re: Selfishness
07/22/07 10:48 PM
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GREAT thread, everyone. What an intelligent, sensitive group of people on this forum...man, I'm so lucky to have found you all!
Selfishness....self gratification....the I want this now mentality.....disposable society....me, me, me! Makes me want to scream. I know, for example, that my grandparents didn't have "the life", but they were committed to making their relationship a life long venture and I believe they depended equally upon each other.
I don't know where I fall in the 90% / 10% theory, but I can tell you that I am doing everything in my power to keep my head above water - especially with the things that my ex typically handled. Can I learn how to change the furnace filter? Sure. Can I figure out the circuit braker? Yes. Can I mow the lawn? Of course. But that doesn't mean that I necessarily want to do these things by myself, ya know.
I've said that I'm defined by my life's experience. People make up my life's experience....people of all shapes, sizes, ages, colors, religions. I want to grow old with someone and when we come to a fork in the road, I want both of us to be open to rolling with whatever it takes to pick either left or right so that we can continue down the path of life. I want to be a part of a respectful union where we nurture each other's passions, make some compromises for one another and grow with life.
I sound like a complete sap! A pitiful one, at that.
Of course, last night (and all night long, I swear), I drempt of the ex and loads of other women. In the dream, he was so happy and fulfilled - and once again, I was the pathetic one who was standing there with NOTHING....nothing but desparation to be loved; included; a part of something wonderful and grand.
<heavy sigh>
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Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.
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