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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Domestic Violence/Abuse

Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover

Re: Reversed role emotional abuse

08/09/07 06:10 PM

[quote]

I have responded by ordering my attorney to file motions (authorized by Missouri law) asking for my daughter's immediate return to Missouri (she was illegally removed from Missouri by her mother without a court order, in violation of two different laws,) a "contempt of court" citation against my wife for doing so, a court-ordered investigation into both my daughter's emotional welfare and into my wife's emotional abuse of both my daughter and I, a court order for visitation with my daughter, an emergency order for temporary alimony based on my medically-documented inability to work, and an order preserving my status at the farmhouse.

---> I hate to be a downer but a lot of this stuff probably is going to go no where. Of course, it doesnt hurt to ask but my experience in this stuff is that it's an exercise in futility. On top of that, you have been accused of abuse (which I never have been) and that just makes it all the harder.

Unfortunately, my doctor is on vacation for two weeks, and the short statement that he wrote saying that I have been disabled for several years, and unable to work, is probably insufficient for the Court. We were waiting on a detailed deposition from him, outlining the specific medical problems I am being treated for (12 of them), and why they specifically preclude me from working. I was denied SSD last week because I only had 20 of the 23 work credits needed at my age to even file, and the law office I hired for the SSI process (Binder & Binder) has been very slow to do anything.

---> SS is a long slow process. 2-3 years sometimes. As I said in an earlier post, a simple letter from your doctor (and most likely any doctor) will be insufficent to award alimony based on a disability. My best guess is that the alimony question will be held in reserve until formal government approval of a disability. As a side note, you have a history of substance abuse (as you said) and now are taking very addicitve drugs for your illness. She will certainly cite drug addiction on your part. Sad but true. You need more than a doctor saying you are disabled. You need 2-3 all saying it and more than likely, SSA approval before they even consider it.

I expect the motion to preserve my living status at the farmhouse to be a long shot, which is why I expect to be homeless soon. There are no homeless shelters here, I cannot get state help because my wife (falsely) alleged abuse on my part (when she in fact is the abuser) due to a "conflict of interest," and because my wife and daughter will claim that they have no other place to live in Missouri but at the farmhouse.

----> Are they moving back?

Under the law, the judge has to order my daughter's immediate return to Missouri pending a hearing that must be at least 60 days after the filing of the motion. My wife can also face jail time for taking my daughter out of state without a court order, (although a simple contempt of court finding will probably be the outcome,) and she could even lose custody of my daughter to me because of her illegal actions (although that, too, is a long shot.) Violating those two differnt laws are serious, and can be considered a "fault" in the eyes of the court when it comes to deciding custody, visitation, property/debt settlement, and even alimony.

---> Judges don't "have" to do anything. That is why case law exist. You need to research some case law that is relevent to your own case.

I held off on filing these motions, but my wife has forced my hand. In every way she has been cruel, vindictive, and uncooperative -- even in simply not returning my handicapped parking permit, which she took with her (along with my cats, which would have provided some emotional comfort.) She was late with her temporary alimony check by two weeks, which has forced me to eat a single meal per day to preserve the food I have.

---> totally sucks

The only good thing to happen was that yesterday, the realtor said it would be a waste of time for him (or any other realtor) to list the farm for sale; we owe twice as much as it is worth, and it simply will not sell at a price that would clear our notes. He would not list it, and told her attorney the same thing. He said our only options are to hold on to the farm, or go into foreclosure (which my attorney says is worse than filing for bankrupcty.) I can file for bankruptcy after a divorce, getting rid of everything but my student loan, but my wife makes too much money under the new bankrupcty law to file. She is going to get stuck with massive debts, and suffer a ruined credit rating when I file, because most of our debt is joint. Creditors are not a party to any debt settlement, so they will come after her for any joint debt that I discharge at bankruptcy, and it will destroy her credit rating.

---> I would recommend filing as soon as possible

It's ironic that the bulk of our arguments were over my desire to settle our unsecured debts (cutting them in half, at least), but she refused to do this because she didn't want a damaged credit rating -- the very thing she is headed for.

--->Karma

I honestly don't understand her behavior, which is so contrary to the Word of God that she professed to believe in. Everything I did during our 27 years together was for her, and she responds with false abuse allegations, a divorce that God hates, emotional abuse, forcing me to live on limited means, terminating my health insurance illegally (she is supposed to maintain it for 6 months after filing for divorce) -- which leaves me with $30,000 of medical debt (claims denied by her employer-sponsored insurer)that I cannot pay, and stripping me in a single day of the only two things in Life that I valued -- my marriage and my children. That is more than any man can bear...

---> Char said that might not be allowed and I thhink she is right. Get on the phone NOW with the insurance company

I am already in a living Hell, and it will now get much worse. But at this point, I don't care anymore. Life to me means nothing now, but unbearable pain and suffering. Whatever happens to me, happens. The sooner the Lord removes me from this earth, the better. [/quote]

---> There is still hope.

--------------------
GO CUBBIES!!!!

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/18/07 08:37 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	07/18/07 07:26 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	googledad	07/18/07 11:04 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	07/19/07 09:09 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/19/07 05:15 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/19/07 07:56 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/19/07 02:14 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/19/07 03:30 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	07/19/07 05:42 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/19/07 05:48 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/19/07 05:46 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/02/07 01:35 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/02/07 06:32 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/02/07 07:09 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	April9418	08/06/07 06:20 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/06/07 06:40 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/09/07 11:21 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/09/07 06:10 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/10/07 09:01 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/11/07 09:50 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/11/07 04:27 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/11/07 07:28 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/11/07 08:48 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/11/07 10:53 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/11/07 03:59 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/11/07 07:09 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/11/07 07:32 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/12/07 10:22 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/12/07 12:00 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/12/07 12:48 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/12/07 03:14 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/12/07 08:22 PM
I have an unrelated question...	almostheaven	08/12/07 09:06 PM
Re: I have an unrelated question...	Tim_M	08/12/07 09:19 PM
Re: I have an unrelated question...	almostheaven	08/12/07 10:47 PM
BTW...	almostheaven	08/12/07 10:51 PM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/13/07 04:15 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/13/07 06:32 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/13/07 06:46 AM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/13/07 08:01 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/13/07 10:37 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/16/07 11:04 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/16/07 12:28 PM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/17/07 08:08 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/17/07 08:38 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/17/07 12:24 PM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/18/07 08:01 AM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/18/07 10:09 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/18/07 10:15 AM
Re: BTW...	almostheaven	08/18/07 10:15 AM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/18/07 10:53 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/18/07 11:11 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/18/07 11:29 AM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/18/07 11:48 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/18/07 02:07 PM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/18/07 02:46 PM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/19/07 11:23 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/29/07 07:42 PM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	08/30/07 07:23 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	09/29/07 08:47 PM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	09/30/07 07:40 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	09/30/07 09:30 AM
Re: BTW...	Tim_M	09/30/07 09:57 AM
Re: BTW...	emilar	11/13/07 05:49 PM
Re: BTW...	emilar	08/18/07 11:41 AM
Re: BTW...	Relayer	08/18/07 11:15 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/09/07 06:39 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	08/09/07 05:22 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/09/07 06:14 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	08/09/07 06:25 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/09/07 06:40 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/09/07 01:02 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/09/07 04:20 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/09/07 06:47 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/10/07 08:58 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/10/07 01:44 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	08/10/07 03:50 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	08/10/07 07:59 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/09/07 05:15 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	08/09/07 05:23 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/20/07 07:52 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	07/20/07 06:16 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/20/07 08:42 PM
CANCEL THEM!!!!!!	almostheaven	07/20/07 08:45 PM
Not to mention...	almostheaven	07/20/07 08:46 PM
Re: Not to mention...	Tim_M	07/20/07 08:49 PM
Re: Not to mention...	almostheaven	07/20/07 08:54 PM
Re: Not to mention...	Tim_M	07/20/07 09:00 PM
Re: Not to mention...	Tim_M	07/20/07 09:04 PM
Re: Not to mention...	Relayer	07/21/07 04:04 AM
Re: Not to mention...	Tim_M	07/21/07 11:55 AM
Exactly...	almostheaven	07/21/07 08:26 PM
Re: Exactly...	Relayer	07/22/07 05:34 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/20/07 08:01 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/20/07 09:20 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/20/07 10:25 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	almostheaven	07/19/07 05:48 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/18/07 10:13 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/18/07 12:55 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/18/07 01:50 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/18/07 02:13 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	08/12/07 09:36 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	jaiye	07/23/07 08:50 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/23/07 09:04 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	07/29/07 06:00 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/29/07 07:16 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	07/29/07 08:15 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/29/07 08:43 PM
As an aside...	almostheaven	07/29/07 09:21 PM
Re: As an aside...	Relayer	07/30/07 06:07 AM
Re: As an aside...	almostheaven	07/30/07 11:18 AM
Re: As an aside...	Tim_M	07/30/07 06:10 AM
Re: As an aside...	Relayer	07/30/07 06:30 AM
Re: As an aside...	Tim_M	07/30/07 06:36 AM
Re: As an aside...	Relayer	07/30/07 08:02 AM
Re: As an aside...	Tim_M	07/30/07 08:54 AM
Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/30/07 11:20 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 11:29 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/30/07 12:50 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 01:07 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/30/07 01:39 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 02:31 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 04:05 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/30/07 10:02 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/30/07 06:55 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 07:29 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/30/07 10:07 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 05:31 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/31/07 09:44 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 10:13 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/31/07 10:20 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 11:09 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/31/07 10:20 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	08/01/07 07:33 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/31/07 12:04 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 12:17 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/31/07 12:21 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/31/07 10:21 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 12:24 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/31/07 10:22 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/31/07 12:36 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/31/07 12:36 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 12:47 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/31/07 01:22 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 01:46 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/31/07 02:42 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 03:33 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/31/07 07:28 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 07:37 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 07:39 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	almostheaven	07/31/07 10:25 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/31/07 09:23 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	08/01/07 07:49 AM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	08/01/07 06:12 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	08/01/07 06:32 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	08/01/07 06:49 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	08/01/07 07:07 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	08/01/07 07:16 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	08/01/07 07:32 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Relayer	07/31/07 01:11 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/31/07 01:14 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/30/07 07:23 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 07:33 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/30/07 07:55 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 08:23 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/30/07 09:00 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	Tim_M	07/30/07 09:18 PM
Re: Actually, you do have an out...	emilar	07/30/07 10:07 PM
Re: As an aside...	Relayer	07/30/07 08:56 AM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	emilar	07/29/07 09:07 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/18/07 02:43 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/18/07 02:55 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/18/07 04:20 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/18/07 06:17 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Relayer	07/18/07 06:43 PM
Re: Reversed role emotional abuse	Tim_M	07/18/07 07:14 PM

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