[quote] Now, is there anything I can do to change her behavior? Should I just divorce her since she can't trust me anymore.
I will contact an attorney if need be, but do I have anything to worry, as far as community property goes???? I do have a house that was left behind by my father. HE died on July 17th, 2005. Now, is she entitled to 50% of my father's house since he left the house to me??? Can somebody give me an answer to that please.
I know that I feel ashamed for my evil deeds, but I changed. Does she have a right to take it out on me? [/quote]
Hello John,
I'm happy to hear that you at least admit to what you did wrong and you are trying to go forward. Sadly, you cannot change your wife's behavior. She has to want to change herself. It seems to me by what you said, that she forgave you and was willing to give you another chance. Now, I realize that if she was hurt badly that it would take a certain amount of time in order to trust you again. Since it has been four years, and you have done everything you can to earn her trust back and you have walked the straight and narrow. I don't know if she can let it go just yet. There is a saying that goes like this, it's easy to forgive but hard to forget.
Have you and your wife considered counseling? That might be a good idea. You have to have trust in order for a relationship to work. But, if one does something to hurt their spouse badly, then, that takes time for them to be able to trust again depending on the circumstances. You just have to show how much you love her, and do little things to earn her trust back. Throwing the past up in each other's faces isn't gonna do anybody any good.
I am very sorry that your father passed away. As far as your father's home, yes it is considered community property. I don't know how the laws are from state to state. I think that's the same in all, isn't it? You might want to put it in another family members name that you trust so she won't get it if you are considering divorce. That would be horrible if you lost your father's home. I just talked to police officers, and a few attorneys about this very thing because my son is going through a divorce. They said it doesn't matter if someone loaned them the items, who gave it to them as a gift, etc... etc.... it's all community property.
If you really love your wife. Ask her to seek counseling with you. Let her know you love her with all your heart, and you are so sorry for hurting her. Ask her if there is anything you can do to make it up to her. Is there anything you can do to get past this. Sit her down and talk to her calmly, and tell her that you can't handle the way she is treating you, that you have been trying to make it up to her for the last four years. I am assuming she agreed to give it another shot. Remind her of her agreement. It takes alot of work to make a marriage last. It's to easy to give up. I have been married for 14 years. It hasn't been easy. We have been through hell and back. The bottom line is we love each other, no matter what, or who has tried to come between us. You have to fight for your marriage if you really love someone. Don't just give up if there is still a spark. Even if there isn't a spark, you can get it back. Believe me, I know.
I hope I don't offend anyone in anyway by this post. This is just how I personally feel, and advice because I have been through it myself.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your wife, respectfully. I hope it works out for you.
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~I Ain't No Quitter~
~You Can't Have A Happy Face, Without A Happy Heart~ Shania Twain
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