CiCi
addict
Reged: 03/28/07
Posts: 493
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Re: Finality
08/13/07 01:29 PM
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Thanks you all (troll - you are just scary!) for your insights. Lori, I did the same thing as you - called the ex and told him he was finally free of me...he didn't get his paperwork yet. I don't know why I felt the need to do that, but I did. Curmudgeon, I thought I'd feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I don't. I guess if it were a divorce based on the merits (or lack thereof) of the relationship, I'd be OK - but the whole game is different now that I know what a manipulative cheat he has been.
Phoenix - I did everything in my power to make sure that my ex didn't expose her to a rotating door of women - and I put the same constraints in place for myself. I have no intention of getting involved with anyone quite yet, but when I do, it'll be a long time before that special person can meet my daughter. She's my priority and I don't intend to change that status until at very least she's out of the home and on her own.
Melanie - I hope you're right. I hope that there is a silver lining to all this. I just know that right now, I have to learn how to trust again. I will NEVER lump "all" men into one category as I know that they are all very different. By the same tolken, this experience has caused me to feel a little less secure and to want to proceed more cautiously down the line. I'm not going to "shield" myself from being hurt again, because deep in my heart, I believe that the only way to feel and experience true joy is to have felt some pain along the way. I don't want to be numb...but I do want to work towards making good decisions.
I called my ex and told him how very disappointed I was that he wasn't going to spend time with our daughter at Christmas. I also found out for sure that he'll be supporting his GF until she can get a visa to work. He's supporting his daughter and now a GF. He's got to negotiate time balancing between her and his daughter - not to mention his work and all the travel he does. How in the world does someone get to the point where they make a conscious decision to put their life in such a difficult position? It's really beyond me!!!
And I guess I have to get to the place where his life doesn't matter to me anymore...but I'm still very preoccupied with his rotten a$$!
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Remember: A clean house is the sign of a wasted life.
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