nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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Re: getting blamed
08/15/07 06:44 PM
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BTDT!!! I found the best way to handle the same sort of ex, saying the same things to me, is to just take responsiblity for everything. When the ex would start, I would just stop him cold and tell him that everything that has ever gone wrong, is wrong, or could possibly ever go wrong with his life is my fault. I take FULL responsiblity for the mess his life is in, the fact that he is a comatose drunk, can't keep a job, looks like pavement, and is pretty much homeless all of the time. OH Yes...I am also the reason his son hates him...
It really is quite liberating to admit you have such overwhelming ability to control someone's life like that! I have tried to harness this talent for the good of mankind, but as of yet, have not had much success.
One of the funnier things my ex accused me of was f'ing my way into buying my house (of course in another conversation I was told that sex with me was spousal abuse. I guess I have good and bad days  ). Still I wish I had known this in advance because I would have put more effort into the process and gotten a place with more bedrooms, or maybe a private pool.
These guys tell us these things to get a reaction. Stop reacting. I just laugh and agree.
If you aren't quite to that point yet, you can do what my best friend does with her ex...She tells him there are only three things they have to talk about...child support, visitation, and the kids. If he starts on another issue, she reminds him of the "rules" and either walks away, or terminates the conversation.
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