I've searched the laws, I've read case decisions and appeals, I've gone over this whole stressful situation over and over. I've printed out a ton of articles about relocating with out of state with children, and the worst thing I've done was to post here to only be attacked personally when no one knows anything about me, my ex, the relationship that we both have individually with the children, the extent of the relationship with the extended family, whom the children never see.
-->Oh..ok..you have extended family in South Carolina..
They have a close relationship with their 3 year old brother, and I'd due to have another son in December.
--> A relationship with a father is going to trump on with their 1/2 sibilings.
I've talked with several lawyers regarding this case, and I've fought with my current husband about this freakin move on a regular basis.
--> Why the fight? Sounds like even HE doesnt want to move. You are seeing $$$.. Jesus
Hes taking the job, I'm left to choose between my spouse and his 2 sons, or my 2 daughters and leave them behind with their father.
--> Yes, you are.
The job is in SC, by the way and its a 20,000 a year salary increase from what hes making now.
--> I know and $20,000 is peanuts. Especially for a huge move. LOL
Thats a lot of money when you are supporting a family on your own.
--> No it isn't.
I stay home with my kids.
-->WHAT?????????????????? You blew it with that one
Whats wrong with that? I'm proud of my children.
--> The question is, are they proud of you? Doubtful.
The emotional attachement that I have with all of my kids is strong.
-->Duh..and your ex's is any less so? In your mind maybe, but not in theirs or his..
I could never be apart from any of them,
--> Now you will get the chance!
and I'm sure they would struggle being away from their mother as well.
--> who? I thought you were the mother...if you mean "father" no worry..because they wont be...they will be away from their "mother" though..if thats what you want to call yourself
The girls have never had a significant seperation from me.
--> There is a first time for everything
Their dad however just comes and goes when he pleases,
--> As oppossed to ypu having him chained up in the dungeon?
and has the pleasure of pursing his career goals and whatever else he wants from life when I guess I don't have the right to.
--> YOU stay at home! You dont have any career goals..you are slipping further here boogie..your arguement keeps getting weaker...
I don't have the right to travel with my husband without sacrificing 2 of my children according to everyone.
--> Are you finally starting to realize that?
I dont believe thats fair and I certainly don't believe its the best interest of the children.
--> $20K as oppsed to a relationship with their father? You are willing to sell your kids relationship with the father for $20K? What would you sell for $30K? (Once we past $30K, I DONT want to know what you would sell..LOL)
But thats what I'll have an attorney for. I let him/her fight this battle for me,because I have to.
---> There goes that $20K again.
Like I said, hubbys taking the job regardless of my situation here. But I told him that if the judge won't allow the move, then I'm not leaving.
--> Renew the lease or whatever..because you are staying
I would appeal of course, but I won't leave 2 of my kids.
I know a lot of you feel that the best interest of the kids is to have a healthy relationship with their father, but you do not know what hes like.
--> A regular Charles Manson I am sure..at least to you
Its to long to explain, and I'm sick of explaining. This whole situation has gotten me stressed so much, that I'm feeling depressed and unable to control the situation.
--> You cant control it because you fail to understand the realities.
I get on here, and continually to find cruel remarks directed towards me and I just unable to keep it together.
--> You are boo-hoo'ing about cruel remarks made on an internet forum but the CRUEL thing you are attempting to do in real life makes no difference. Give me a phucking break.
My feelings are hurt from complete strangers, and that makes no sense to me at all on why it bothers me so. Maybe because if you knew me, and my children and have known what I've overcome with them, maybe you would be a little more compasionate.
I don't need anger mgt classes. I try to be the best person that I can be, but everyone has their limits to what can be said to them. I blew up at BeachBabeRN, yes I know this, but I can only say that I'm sorry. She had me in tears with her remarks and I was being extremely sensitive and defensive. I would hope that all of you would want the best outcome and I will let you know what happens regardless. If I can move great, if not, then I'll overcome that when it happens. Until then, I am too sorry for hijacking this post and hope that everything works out for her in the end.
--> Ok..now, for the 28,123 time..no one is being "cruel" to you. You are continually failing to see the reality as told by people with FAR more experience in this stuff than you. You will spend $$ on an attorney, attempting to move to a state with less CS, for a paltry sum of money, away from family and friends but somehow you are the victim.
The only ones in this scenario who are victims are your kids, unortunately.