Hi Melanie - thanks for the update. Is good to catch up with old friends lives and that includes cyber friends! I hope other old timers, and new timers, will respond to your post.
As for me... after 30 years together, then 3 years separated, our divorce is finally final. About a week before our final hearing, and 5 weeks after we both signed a settlement agreement, ex changed attorneys, showed up at the final hearing with a request to have the settlment agreement thrown out. He resorted to flat out lies that I could easily prove as same, a desperate attempt to get the settlement thrown out. Won't go into detail on the lies, unless you want to know. Ex said the house we purchased in early 70's was his sole property...wee both contribruted to the down payment, and the closing was only 2 weeks prior to our wedding. Judge saw through that and other lies regarding my employment transfer (done in 93 and not 04 as ex stated) , said he was not going back to the early 70's , property was co mingled, ordered it would proceed on the signed settlement and as an uncontested divorce.
However he does have 30 days to appeal. As the judge ordered that he pay the additional, and any further, attorney fees of mine, hopefully that will deter ex from appealing. My attorney advised me not to list the house on the listing ex signed with a realtor until 45 days have passed, so that 30 days may be business and not actual days. I am still in limbo, will be until this house is sold, but the divorce is finally through.
I was heart broken, devastated, when ex left. I prayed for 2 years that we could reconcile, go to counseling etc. Slowly I realized the ex I loved was no longer the same person, and I really did not want the person he became. I now realize that his decision to leave is one of the best things that could have happened for me, and my life has changed for the better and I am moving in directions I probably would not have if still with ex. Not sure if his life is better, for someone who said he left because he decided he was never going to be unhappy again... he is a very angry person regarding settlement etc. and I think this has affected his health. However no longer my problem, OW wanted him she can deal with it all now.
When I first came to DS I read posts similiar to yours above, and it made me know there was hope for a better life, and pray that I could get to that point, and for the most part I have. I am looking forward to whatever is around the bend in the road for me, actually find it exciting. SOmething that I never thought I would be doing at the age of 56.
Excuse any typos, on lunch break and typing too fast I know. Glad your health is fine now, take care and keep in touch.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".