What happened to all the good women?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic girl pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. She'd hang out with you and watch your favorite teams games, she’d take time to help you get your place ready for the big party, she’d give you advice on how to get noticed by that Hot Chick you just had to land. She’d answer your questions truthfully when you asked what you were doing wrong with women, she’d tell you what a wench the chick was who dumped you.
At the time, you probably joked with your buddies about how desperate she was, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to her. The guys teased you because they thought you’d actually nailed her, and if you hadn’t you should because she ‘was there’. Given that her behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied any interest in her; besides, her boobs weren’t big enough / her @ss was too flat / she wasn’t hot enough for you.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the latest Hot Chick got more serious and spending time with this other woman meant your girlfriend wouldn’t put out and would nag the hell out of you over it. More time passed, and the girlfriend eventually complained you didn’t dress well enough, take her out enough, spend enough money on her, and you wanted sex too much. You started to realize that the things that attracted you to her weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. Once the makeup came off and the hairspray wore out and the sweatpants came out, she was just a miserable, shallow person. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered skanks and chicks wanting your credit report, you wonder, "What happened to all the good women?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the good woman. You used her as a sounding board and a confidant, without reciprocating, in kind, or with physical intimacy. You laughed at her consideration and resented her devotion. You valued the gold-digging, plastic girlfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, she took the hint and moved on with her life. She probably came to realize, one day, that men aren't really attracted to women who are honest, who are trustworthy, or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or who have your back when the chips are down. She came to realize that, if she wanted a man like you, she'd have to act more like the girlfriend that you had. She probably started working out, got a makeover, started making some money, and generally found the self-respect to not accept being on any guys B-list.
Fact is, now, she's probably giving it up nightly to a nice guy who appreciates who she is, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of her is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "good women" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most men will only have a handful of good women stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a good woman, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of her.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a good woman, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile, shallow taste in women. In which case, you might be in luck, because the good woman you claim to want has, in reality, decided that she’s successful enough on her own that she’s perfectly content to have a bed buddy and then send you home after dinner.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f^cked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullsh!t and deal with reality. You didn't want a good woman then, and she certainly doesn't f^cking want you, or NEED you, now.
A Successful Good Woman
Edited by Renee (01/02/08 07:37 PM)