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Divorce Source Community Forums >> General Divorce Issues

TheOtherGuy
recently joined

Reged: 09/26/05
Posts: 3

My two bits...

09/29/05 03:05 PM

Just two quick comments (since your situation is about Life and not the Law)

1. The timing of the relationship is, as you say, "not ideal", but you can take control of that by taking a big step back and building in an intentional, protracted delay.
The way the situation is right now, you have no certainty that she really wants to be with you, rather than not be with her husband. This addresses the foundation of your life together. Now would be a good time to get this right.

2. The other observation i have is that this is obviously a bad time for you to pull back, now that she finally has gathered the courage to address her marriage and she thinks she knows what she wants to do about it.
(It might have been better to realize you should be really cautious with this on the day you returned to the US.)

I recommend really clear communication (written, if you feel you can express yourself better that way): the message is that she needs to figure things out for herself first, independent from you, which may take a year.
But be prepared for a fair amount of anger. When she realizes that she is walking away from her husband AND finds out she cannot rely on you, you may become a target. Perhaps of both her and the husband, if she cannot continue to hide your existence.
(It's not inconceivable that they'll make up.)

A year from now, you'll know, one way or another...

Good luck!

T.O.G.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
I'm the other man	Bwanap	09/29/05 01:14 AM
Re: I'm the other man	passem	10/01/05 07:27 PM
Re: Are you sure you want to hear this?	Tabitha	09/29/05 10:58 AM
My two bits...	TheOtherGuy	09/29/05 03:05 PM
Yeah...	almostheaven	09/29/05 02:26 AM

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