Lazerus
newbie
Reged: 01/17/08
Posts: 41
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Dazed and Confused in NJ
01/18/08 03:51 PM
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We had an incident in the house last night and while the details are too lengthy to get into, let's say I just learned that the verbal insults slung by my wife at me and my son are abuse...wow! That's 15 years of additional abuse.
I learned earlier this week that I was involved in 15 years of emotional, physical and mental abuse...but verbal abuse?
That isn't all I learned, I found out that even if she decided that she wasn't going to crack me or my son last night, the fact that she hit my son last week for no good reason and each time before that, I can file a restraining order against her for the previous events and the verbal assault last night.
Well despite the police advocate and the abuse advocate urging me to do so on the spot...I didn't. I did file the incident report, but I am still up in the air about the restraining order.
At least I now know that I can file it based on what happened over the last year and at least I know I can do it at 1am if I want to. Finally at least I know that I can impress on the judge at a hearing that I want her to go to psychological evaluation.
But what to do...I am so freaking torn between my children and my well being and the fact that somewhere in that screwed up head of hers is the good person I always saw while wearing those rose colored glasses. Even when I wasn't wearing them, when she is a stable person she is a joy to be with.
My minister wants me to wait to make my decision after I see him on Sunday...but why, he wouldn't say. I think he doesn't want me to do it out of anger, I think he doesn't want me to do it messy, but I don't know.
Either way, I know I can do it and I know I have to do it...but I still am torn.
Well remember in NJ you have chances to save yourself...the question is actually and finally doing it.
What am I saying here...I guess I am just lost in my own confusion and emotions, lost in a mix of fact and hope, lost in a cloud of familiarity and the unknown...for the first time in my life I don't have a solution to my problem that I can completely live with...why?
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