Hello I am new to the group, and yes I am going thru a divorce.
I have been married for 13 years and totally in love with my wife, she was my taproot, my friend.
We were to close on our first home 9/9 and that day after repeated phone calls to no anwser, I rushed home (I work hour and half away) to find "the note". She packed up and left for California, to be with her HS friends.She told no one, except for her mother the day before.
Now for some history....I work in telecommunications and 3 years ago I took a consultant position with a buddy of mine in Seattle. I was home couple weekends every month and worked into working from home later on. I got lonely, missed my wife, and began turning to internet [censored] for "inspiration". I set up a fake MSN account in order to contact women on the net, which I sent 2 emails to. One I sent my picture to someone I chatted with (the usual hey how are you, what are you doing, blah blah) and passed my picture to this person, simply looking to see if I was still attractive to someone other than my wife. The other email was to an escort service on price of menage e trois, to which I got no anwser. that was the extent of the indiscretion. Nothing physical, nothing in person.
Well 10 months go down the road and my wife discovers my long forgotten fake profile on the net, and the two emails I didnt delete from the sent folder. She went nuts. I was in Seattle for a week of training when she found out and talked her out of leaving over the phone and came home and dealt with the issue. Sort of.. I told her we would talk about it everyday and work thru this, in order to keep her from leaving.
3 years go by and now this. She states she cant trust me, her head was going to explode with thoughts of what Im doing at work, what if I did cheat, all the thoughts a person would have...
She left me and the kids with a note saying the above and this would give me time to see if this is what I wanted, which I did not. She returned, filed for divorce and left again for 10 daysto California, claiming she wanted to have fun before she had to go back to work. The kids are with me and will go home when she returns on Monday...
I have had a month now to soak this in and temporarily stop crying every second. I honestly love my wife, she is all I know, and I thought everything was ok...I have tried thru thousands of text messages and attempted talks to offer the moon and sky and profess my love and devotion, but to no avail. I have moved into a apartment in the city to be near work and she immediately moved in her sister and husband to help with the bills.........
I just dont know what to think or do. Its obvuis anything I say she doesnt hear. I have done my part and been civil with the who gets what and paying bills up for the time I was there, paying child support.... My heart still hurts, every morning is just terrible. I needed to get this off my chest....now I am turning 35 next month and suddenly single and scared to death. I have never pictured divorce as an option, especially in this case...I didnt cheat, but I did cross a line I think....I love my wife so much....I cant picture life without her and the kids and the dog...it was all just so perfect and coming together and then WHAM.....
thanks for listening...
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