LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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Re: they could be twins............
10/12/05 09:24 PM
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It just doesn't matter to me anymore... I look back at all the years we had together and all the bad memories and they far outweigh the good. My problem has never been about missing my ex-husband or wanting him back. It's more about craving the experience of having at least one, healthy, loving, relationship with a man, before my time on this earth is over.
I married young, to my high school sweetheart, and my experience has been very limited. I have had one serious relationship since my divorce, but I had to end that too. It was again too unhealthy. I seem to have a tendency to attract men who seem very nice at first and then they seem to turn into something and someone else, like it was all just make believe.
I could understand if I was mean, nasty, vindictive, b*tch, who did things to ultimately deserve being treated badly. But, heaven help me, I can't think of what I could ever do to deserve that. For whatever reason, that's what I get in return.
I just went through this again recently. I never even got a sincere apology. Instead I got sarcasm, a bit of nastiness, even some plain, all out, arrogance on their part. When all I did was reach out to them and care as a friend. I don't understand how people can do that and not feel badly? It hurts a lot... But, I know in my heart of hearts I was only good to them. That's all that matters at the end of the day.
People have to live with and deal with themselves. I just don't know if some ever really do? They certainly don't seem to look back and care about how they have hurt someone and why? I don't understand people who can't truly say they are sorry and face they treated someone else badly.
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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