kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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Re: How do you guys handle this stuff?
10/18/05 08:40 PM
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Geoff
Been there, done that. First of all people should not fill you in on what your stbx says. There is no good reason for that.
My my stbx left me, I was where you are and it's not easy. I didn't want to get out of bed, I couldn't concentrate at work. My whole world as I knew it feel apart. I went to a therapist that suggested a support group. She also suggested that I get on an anti-depressant. My doctor agreed with her. I take the train to work (an hour commute) and it was hard to fight back the tears. My thoughts were constantly on my marriage. Every day I thought if I died it would be a blessing. The anti-depressants really helped me. I could focus and the thoughts of my marriage weren't as strong.
You have to force yourself to live, you have to "fake it until you make it". I forced myself to go out with co-workers and to go to functions with friends, dreading every minute of it. But it got easier.
You mentioned "Sleepless in Seattle" in one of your posts. Remember when Tom Hanks said to the therapist from the radio station that he reminds himself to wake up and breath everyday until one day hopefully he will just wake up and breath. That's how it is. Trust me, with each day it gets a little easier. One day you find yourself saying "this isn't so bad, doing what I want, when I want". You'll get there, just hang on. Think about a support group or talking to a therapist, it really helps.
In the mean time, we're here for you whenever you need us. You have our support and our prayers. You will survive!!! Look at how far people come in life on this board. It happens. My therapist told me this is the worse thing anyone will go through in life except for burying a child. No truer words were ever spoken. It is the worse thing you will go through. But it makes you stronger and it makes you better. Someday down the line you will look at your stbx and think that you are so much better off without her.
Hang in there.
Hugs!!!
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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