yes, I agree it is part of having kids...
I guess I will get a bit more detailed.
No orders are in place for extracurricular costs or any of the rest of above issues I posted about for school, yet our child will start school in the fall.
His mom tried to slip in a charge for an extracurricular activity at his day care when my support was being refigured (which the judge said since there were no orders in place saying that we were to split them , then it would not be in the figure for child care and no NEW order was made)
Mom had given me general info (school name, website, 1st day... then eventually a calendar - for last year which child was not enrolled yet?) as her providing info to me (BTW we have joint legal, with her having physical about 60%, me about 40%)
Now, she is sending more info, even though she keeps informing that I should check the online info, and what she has included is the school year calendar for next year, info on the afterschool care she chose, list for supplies needed for Kindergarten and a fully detailed list of school lunch costs.
To me, it looks like she will be asking that I will have to split these costs or contribute to them. Especially since she had just recently tried to add in the extra cost at daycare AND since there are plenty of other things on these sites she could be printing off and sending me (like the school policy book, teacher information, stuff actuially pertinent to his education) but instead she makes sure to send me the print outs for the things that have costs. Personally, I feel that these costs are part of what support is paid for... (And, yes, I would feel that even if I had physical custody - I would not expect her to share these costs on top of child support if she were paying me) even without school - she still had to cloth him, provide items to entertain him and feed him. But I am understanding and have even thought of beating her to the punch... I am just wondering WHAT would be fair to offer.
I have thought about going ahead and getting a few school outfits, maybe a pair of shoes and then part of the supplies list in the next month or so (and of course save my reciepts). I want to do it soon, I figure she won't shop until july or august anyway, but just in case she does try to ask the court to order us to share. And then also offering to her that the days I take son to school I will provide $ for lunch (either ahead of time to her or pay it myself on 'lunch card"??? haven't figured out how to do this one yet?) and then extra curricular activities we will need to discuss and agree on, otherwise the cost will be hers. She makes a good deal more $ than I do, so I think what I have offered is pretty generous, plus if she were to go to ask judge to make these "split down the middle" between us, if I offer this or SHOW that I have given her this much, judge may feel like she is just trying to milk it.
So that is why I am wondering what some of you all do for this - so that I know how much or how little I should do. (because I also know that if I voluntarily do this this year, she will expect it next year and the year after... so I also don't want to hang myself by trying to be nice.)