...that they will be having a "normal" July visitation with dad. What is normal you ask? Well, during the month of July, per our divorce decree, he gets them every day and night EXCEPT the 2nd and 4th weekends. I have them then.
I wasn't going to say anything about it at all because of our scheduled trial date of July 1st. I figured this arrangement would change depending upon what happens July 1st. One thing the ex and I BOTH agreed upon and planned to change was that the July schedule not only did NOT work with his current schedule, but it also was not good or enjoyable for the kids. So, we intended to eliminate the July schedule and, instead, spread it out over the year.
My youngest was making all kinds of plans for 4th of July and the week after, knowing his favorite cousin would be in town. Since we won't be going to court, however, we won't be changing July and the kids would be with the ex.
I finally said, "Sweety, before you start planning things in your mind, you remember its July and you're with your dad, right?"
He said,"WHAT???!!! Dad told me he was going to get rid of the July schedule when you guys go to trial on the first!"
(I did NOT, have NOT nor will I ever, discuss trial with my kids. He got this from his father, which is really what this vent is about. I'm just really ticked he is detailing the trial to an 8 year old kid. Its a big people issue. He's a child.)
So, I explained that trial might not happen and he should just assume its our normal schedule. He was visibly bothered. He said, "I hated what we did last year. I hate July. We spend most of it with 1st ex wife or SM."
I said, "I'm sorry, sweetie. You can talk with your dad about it. I'm sure he wants to know how you feel. I have talked to him too and he knows I am available if he needs someone to watch you guys. PLUS, you're only a couple blocks away. Maybe you can ride your bike by and just say hi from time to time if you're bored! Talk to dad about that and I will too!"
So, its bedtime and I remind DS12 that he needs to brush his teeth. I've always joked with them that if they don't brush their teeth, they'll rot out of their head & they'll be doomed to fake teeth and eating baby food. (I say it while pretending to have no teeth myself. DS8 always cracks up.) I also said jokingly, "Your cavitieis are EXPENSIVE. Don't get any more!"
DS12 says, "Well, if you would put us on dad's insurance, it would have been completely covered. When you go to trial, dad says you won't be paying $600 a month for health insurance because he can get it for $200 a month."
So, once again, I have to tell a kid that this is big people stuff and he is a little kid. Its really not appropriate to be involved in issues like this. I also asked, "Geez, does dad just tell you EVERYTHING about our trial?"
DS12 said, "Not everything, but a lot." He smiled when he told me. I didn't prod but this is just getting ridiculous.
Why on earth do you tell KIDS?
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.