Divorce Source: Give an inch, he wants a mile

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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Stepfamily Issues

JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656

Re: I could see...

06/25/08 01:31 PM

RJ, you don't have to understand me, we don't know each other in real life. I understand your frustration, and that's OK - I know myself and I know the decisions I make are always with the best intentions for everyone involved, and that's all I need to know.

Regarding the car - NO, he did not have to go out and get something that expensive, but he did, and now he has to live with the car payment.

The cell phone bill - sure, he may be on contract. Is that something he wants to tell his son when he's older? Sorry son I didn't pay CS b/c I bought a brand new car and had a large cell phone payment. Beautiful.

Regarding the car insurance, he actually hasn't even HAD car insurance in months. As far as I'm aware, he still doesn't. But really is a nonissue.

Regarding the money to his daughter's mother - he no longer pays child support. He's *supposed* to pay half of her parttime daycare which is about $160 a month (per BM) and was sending her a check every so often but now owes her about $700.

I'm not a victim, and I've never made myself out to be one. But I've worked DAMN hard to take care of my child during all this mess and I've done a good job of doing so. I worked 2 jobs while going to school up until just a few months ago before I got my new job that pays more. I'd get a sitter at times and work overtime. I can very much remember searching through my apartment trying to find something unopened that I could return at Walmart just to have gas to be able to get to work. I am not financially well off by ANY means but I have something called integrity and so when it comes to my son? If I only had him 4 days a month? I'd be working 5 jobs to make ends meet if I had to. He's never had 2 jobs at once. He willingly told me he's worked a couple of shifts a week for the past several weeks. He has no work ethic - but I've seen his potential and I know he's smarter than he makes himself out to be, I've SEEN it. I KNOW he can do better, but I'm no longer his motivator, his wife, his mother, his punching bag, or his floor and I cannot and WILL NOT be responsible for the choices he has made.

I could write a book over everything I've given up for him, but in the end? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I've done and it doesn't matter what he's done - this is about OUR CHILD and the fact that BOTH parents need to be taking responsibility for him. This isn't just about money - it's about being a FATHER. It's about my son deserving the best I can offer him. And that is what I try my best to do every day of my life.

He's in this situation b/c he put himself there. I can't dig him out of his own hole. I've tried and tried and tried negotiating with him, and what does he do? He waits until TWO days before trial, after over 18 months of being in this mess, to even try to discuss it with me. I've done my share - I've negotiated, I've worried and I've stressed and I've made myself SICK over trying to make this man happy and be the best mother I can do. I'm DONE. My ONLY focus is my son and it's quite apparent his priorities aren't the same. Therefor I'll keep doing what I'm doing and he can keep doing what he's doing. I'll stay strong and I'll continue to do what's best for my son, but in the mean time he will KNOW I can no longer be his doormat.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 08:14 AM
CS	Laineann	06/26/08 01:53 PM
Re: CS	preemiemom	06/26/08 02:20 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 02:31 PM
Re: CS	Redlegg	06/26/08 02:36 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 02:53 PM
Re: CS	Redlegg	06/26/08 02:38 PM
Re: CS	preemiemom	06/26/08 02:42 PM
Re: CS	preemiemom	06/26/08 02:36 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 02:51 PM
Re: CS	MaritimeGuy	06/26/08 02:34 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 02:46 PM
Re: CS	MaritimeGuy	06/26/08 03:08 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 03:24 PM
Re: CS	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 03:58 PM
Re: CS	PrincessJ	06/26/08 04:07 PM
Re: CS	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 04:15 PM
Re: CS	PrincessJ	06/26/08 04:16 PM
Re: CS	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 04:19 PM
Re: CS	PrincessJ	06/26/08 04:24 PM
Re: CS	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 09:47 PM
Re: CS	PrincessJ	06/27/08 08:35 AM
Re: CS	Runswithscissors	06/27/08 03:36 PM
Re: CS	PrincessJ	06/27/08 03:53 PM
Re: CS	katiefedup	06/26/08 02:26 PM
Re: CS	preemiemom	06/26/08 02:37 PM
Re: CS	katiefedup	06/26/08 02:03 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 02:04 PM
Re: CS	Laineann	06/26/08 02:06 PM
ignore letter	matart1	06/25/08 01:34 PM
Here's a very simple questoin	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:36 PM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	cincsu	06/25/08 11:39 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	1966Gal	06/25/08 09:38 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	1004SRS	06/25/08 08:59 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:04 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	RJ1	06/25/08 08:47 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:04 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:28 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	youngatheart	06/25/08 09:41 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:54 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MTmom	06/25/08 09:49 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:35 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:51 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	youngatheart	06/25/08 10:15 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/25/08 09:55 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:57 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MaritimeGuy	06/25/08 10:49 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MaritimeGuy	06/26/08 11:01 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/26/08 11:21 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MaritimeGuy	06/26/08 11:40 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 10:52 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:55 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/25/08 09:57 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:58 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:55 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	arvm	06/25/08 11:41 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:58 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	1966Gal	06/25/08 10:24 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:39 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	youngatheart	06/25/08 10:51 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	youngatheart	06/25/08 10:32 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:42 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	youngatheart	06/25/08 10:52 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	Cassie23	06/25/08 10:51 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	Cassie23	06/25/08 10:54 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 10:55 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	youngatheart	06/25/08 10:59 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 11:01 AM
I could see...	gr8Dad	06/25/08 12:15 PM
Re: I could see...	Cassie23	06/25/08 12:19 PM
Re: I could see...	RJ1	06/25/08 12:31 PM
Re: I could see...	PrincessJ	06/25/08 12:34 PM
Re: I could see...	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:30 PM
Re: I could see...	RJ1	06/25/08 12:46 PM
Re: I could see...	MTmom	06/25/08 12:24 PM
Re: I could see...	youngatheart	06/25/08 12:26 PM
Re: I could see...	Arden	06/25/08 12:39 PM
Re: I could see...	youngatheart	06/25/08 12:49 PM
Re: I could see...	JennyLynn	06/25/08 01:31 PM
Re: I could see...	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:33 PM
Re: I could see...	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 05:33 PM
Re: I could see...	jil_stevens	06/25/08 06:46 PM
Re: I could see...	preemiemom	06/25/08 07:40 PM
Re: I could see...	MaritimeGuy	06/25/08 01:49 PM
Re: I could see...	Redlegg	06/25/08 01:28 PM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MaritimeGuy	06/25/08 11:03 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	Redlegg	06/25/08 11:41 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	Cassie23	06/25/08 11:03 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MTmom	06/25/08 10:48 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:53 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/25/08 10:55 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:58 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 10:26 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/25/08 10:33 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/25/08 10:03 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 10:05 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	MTmom	06/25/08 09:35 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 09:36 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	PrincessJ	06/25/08 08:39 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	Cassie23	06/25/08 08:35 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 08:38 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	BB1	06/25/08 08:27 AM
Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Melody	06/25/08 11:35 AM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 11:39 AM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Sherron	06/25/08 01:36 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:42 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 01:47 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	1966Gal	06/25/08 01:52 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 01:55 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 02:09 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	1966Gal	06/25/08 02:07 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 02:07 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 02:09 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 02:11 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	PrincessJ	06/25/08 01:56 PM
JL.....	PrincessJ	06/25/08 01:55 PM
Re: JL.....	JennyLynn	06/25/08 01:56 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 01:38 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:43 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	PrincessJ	06/25/08 12:13 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 11:55 AM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 12:05 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 12:11 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 11:47 AM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 12:00 PM
I never heard JennyLynn	Melody	06/25/08 12:22 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 12:18 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Cassie23	06/25/08 12:25 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 12:33 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 12:08 PM
Cheaper car payments...	gr8Dad	06/25/08 12:18 PM
Re: Cheaper car payments...	PrincessJ	06/25/08 12:30 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 12:13 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 12:24 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:26 PM
Well, I have to say	Melody	06/25/08 08:27 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 09:07 PM
well, she wants us to all become NCP men	Melody	06/25/08 10:51 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:23 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 09:29 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:49 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 08:47 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 09:14 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 09:24 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 10:54 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 11:20 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 10:56 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 11:23 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 11:21 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	Miranda	06/26/08 11:22 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 11:23 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:14 AM
No....	Melody	06/26/08 11:44 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 10:56 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 10:04 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	PrincessJ	06/26/08 10:17 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 10:20 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 10:03 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:09 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 10:36 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:45 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	KrazyKat	06/25/08 09:34 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 09:41 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	RJ1	06/26/08 11:09 AM
And what the hell is wrong with that?	Melody	06/26/08 11:42 AM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:46 AM
So what?	Melody	06/26/08 11:53 AM
Re: So what?	RJ1	06/26/08 12:00 PM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	RJ1	06/26/08 11:47 AM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	elliesmom	06/26/08 12:08 PM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	KrazyKat	06/26/08 12:31 PM
Very well said EM!	preemiemom	06/26/08 12:15 PM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	Melody	06/26/08 12:14 PM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	elliesmom	06/26/08 12:21 PM
See now	Melody	06/26/08 12:47 PM
Re: See now	MaritimeGuy	06/26/08 01:09 PM
Re: See now	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 12:52 PM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	RJ1	06/26/08 12:46 PM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:50 AM
Re: And what the hell is wrong with that?	RJ1	06/26/08 11:46 AM
Well, in all honesty	Melody	06/26/08 11:52 AM
Re: Well, in all honesty	RJ1	06/26/08 11:55 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:17 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	KrazyKat	06/25/08 09:47 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 10:01 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	KrazyKat	06/25/08 10:09 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 10:17 PM
Same here	Melody	06/25/08 10:55 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	KrazyKat	06/25/08 10:24 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 10:26 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:06 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 10:14 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 10:42 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 07:53 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/26/08 09:12 AM
Why do you give off the distinct impression	Melody	06/26/08 11:39 AM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:44 AM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 11:55 AM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:57 AM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 12:02 PM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	preemiemom	06/26/08 12:15 PM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 12:21 PM
Re: Why do you give off the distinct impression	Runswithscissors	06/26/08 12:19 PM
Oh...I have to be spoken to personally	Melody	06/26/08 11:52 AM
Re: Oh...I have to be spoken to personally	preemiemom	06/26/08 11:55 AM
Re: Well, I have to say	preemiemom	06/25/08 08:51 PM
Then your statement should be qualified	Melody	06/25/08 10:49 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	preemiemom	06/25/08 11:09 PM
I didn't compare it to any other debt	Melody	06/26/08 01:33 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	Maury	06/25/08 11:19 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	preemiemom	06/25/08 11:25 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	Maury	06/25/08 11:28 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	preemiemom	06/25/08 11:35 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	Maury	06/25/08 11:40 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	preemiemom	06/25/08 11:45 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	katiefedup	06/25/08 11:57 PM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	preemiemom	06/26/08 06:12 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	KrazyKat	06/26/08 06:20 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	JennyLynn	06/26/08 06:26 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	Redlegg	06/26/08 06:42 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	JennyLynn	06/26/08 07:01 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	cincsu	06/26/08 12:32 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	preemiemom	06/25/08 11:03 PM
Nope....	Melody	06/26/08 01:31 AM
Re: Nope....	preemiemom	06/26/08 06:16 AM
Re: Then your statement should be qualified	jil_stevens	06/25/08 11:06 PM
Re: Well, I have to say	KrazyKat	06/25/08 09:01 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 05:32 PM
What?	Melody	06/25/08 08:24 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 08:16 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Runswithscissors	06/25/08 09:06 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:22 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	ssmom79	06/25/08 02:24 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	PrincessJ	06/25/08 03:09 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	ssmom79	06/25/08 03:08 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Sherron	06/25/08 02:35 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Sherron	06/25/08 02:38 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	RJ1	06/25/08 03:32 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 09:17 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 02:40 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Cassie23	06/25/08 03:23 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	ssmom79	06/25/08 03:14 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	MaritimeGuy	06/25/08 03:20 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 03:23 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 03:17 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 03:20 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 03:26 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 03:33 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	MaritimeGuy	06/25/08 03:22 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 03:25 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	MaritimeGuy	06/25/08 03:34 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 03:34 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	RJ1	06/25/08 03:46 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 03:48 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	RJ1	06/25/08 03:55 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	RJ1	06/25/08 03:59 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 04:05 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	elliesmom	06/25/08 05:20 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 03:50 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 01:46 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 01:55 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 02:00 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	matilda	06/25/08 02:11 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	preemiemom	06/25/08 02:34 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	PrincessJ	06/25/08 02:03 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	Redlegg	06/25/08 02:11 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	PrincessJ	06/25/08 02:12 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	MTmom	06/25/08 02:19 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	JennyLynn	06/25/08 02:20 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	youngatheart	06/25/08 01:34 PM
How about a bicycle?	Melody	06/25/08 12:24 PM
Re: Wow....I fully agree with BB1	MTmom	06/25/08 12:18 PM
Phone, Car, Insurance	Melody	06/25/08 11:44 AM
Re: Give an inch, he wants a mile	JennyLynn	06/25/08 08:37 AM

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