nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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Re: Relayer ----
09/22/08 01:45 PM
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[quote]My first response to this topic is that everyone here obviously has never read and educated themselves on true verbal and emotional abuse. Typically, society views name-calling and yelling as verbal abuse. Yes, but that's only part of it. Show me a single marriage that doesn't include yelling and name calling! EVERYbody is guilty of abuse there.
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I disagree with this very much. My marriage does not consist of name-calling or hollaring. A normal, happy marriage doesn't need name-calling or hollaring. Some people think this is the way to solve the problem, but it isn't. Not when you have mutual respect and trust, not to mention love. I have never hollared at DH. He has never hollared at me. We don't call one another names, or our kids. [/quote]
You're very lucky and I have to agree that my statement was an exaggeration. However, the point was that the majority of the population views yelling and name-calling as verbal abuse and has no clue that VA EA goes much further beyond all the noise. There can be EA VA with absolutely no shouting.
Terms such as crazimaking, gaslighting, truth-twisting, recreation of history, brainwahing, isolation, devaluation all occur in the abuse world without raising one's voice. These forms are extremely hard to prove and just as easy to discount leaving the victim helpless as she tries to get legal protection. I wonder how many of the 88% "false" ROs are based in prooflessness of covert abuse? Just because there is no proof doesn't mean she's lying, it just means the abuser was better at charming his way outta trouble.
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