nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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Re: Relayer ----
09/23/08 05:00 PM
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[quote]I'm actually pretty hardcore on both sides of the RO debate.
I think 0 ROs should be used to move people out of their homes, or to impact custody or financial settlements.
I also think all ROs are appropriate if threats or actual harassment (or worse, assault) actually exist/continue.
I don't think ROs are appropriate for claims of insults insults/emotional abuse, at least not if ROs come with the baggage they currently do (impact on custody/financial settlement).
If you choose to engage with him post-separation, then get insulted in an argument, that ain't enough for an RO. That's commonly considered "acting out" during the divorce, and shouldn't and doesn't hold much water in court.
"We're getting divorced. He called me. We talked about 11 things. Then we got into an argument and he insulted me (actually we insulted each other...typically omitted by the claimant). Give me an RO that will result in loss of custody and assets because I reported the insulting argument first." is the scenario I want the system to avoid getting embroiled in.
Instead, if you don't want to be insulted, end contact. You're an adult. You can hang up. Or not pick up. Or block phone numbers. Or not read txts. etc. If he FORCES contact by trespassing, following, etc. it's harassment, potentially worthy of an RO.
But not if you choose to engage with him then argue and feel insulted/trembly afterwards. I know it sucks but doesn't deserve the payoff that ROs currently represent.
Perhaps we need something else like "divorce RO" that can be used to keep angry/divorcing people apart without being a tool for the divorce settlement. But without it, we essentially have "criminal" ROs being used as divorce settlement/false accusation tools too often. [/quote]
While I respect your opinion, you seem to make an aweful lot of assumptions regarding me. First of all, we have 4 kids ranging in age from 6 - 12. We HAVE to communicate sometimes. Secondly, I have NEVER engaged post-divorce. Yeah, I used to argue back all the time before I filed, but the abuse escalated so frighteningly that I learned real quickly how to disengage. The 12 phone calls were never answered. Neither were all the texts. He just repeatedly harasses me in these ways knowing there is nothing legally that would be done about it. The texts almost always have pertainent info that I need with insults written in between causing me to either read it, or ignore it and miss out on my kids activities or my due time with them.
Show me a way to raise these kids 50-50 with him and not be in contact and I swear, I'll buy your gas for a year!!!
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