Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> Domestic Violence/Abuse

nolonger
enthusiast
*

Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
Re: Relayer ----
      09/23/08 05:00 PM

[quote]I'm actually pretty hardcore on both sides of the RO debate.

I think 0 ROs should be used to move people out of their homes, or to impact custody or financial settlements.

I also think all ROs are appropriate if threats or actual harassment (or worse, assault) actually exist/continue.

I don't think ROs are appropriate for claims of insults insults/emotional abuse, at least not if ROs come with the baggage they currently do (impact on custody/financial settlement).

If you choose to engage with him post-separation, then get insulted in an argument, that ain't enough for an RO. That's commonly considered "acting out" during the divorce, and shouldn't and doesn't hold much water in court.

"We're getting divorced. He called me. We talked about 11 things. Then we got into an argument and he insulted me (actually we insulted each other...typically omitted by the claimant). Give me an RO that will result in loss of custody and assets because I reported the insulting argument first." is the scenario I want the system to avoid getting embroiled in.

Instead, if you don't want to be insulted, end contact. You're an adult. You can hang up. Or not pick up. Or block phone numbers. Or not read txts. etc. If he FORCES contact by trespassing, following, etc. it's harassment, potentially worthy of an RO.

But not if you choose to engage with him then argue and feel insulted/trembly afterwards. I know it sucks but doesn't deserve the payoff that ROs currently represent.

Perhaps we need something else like "divorce RO" that can be used to keep angry/divorcing people apart without being a tool for the divorce settlement. But without it, we essentially have "criminal" ROs being used as divorce settlement/false accusation tools too often. [/quote]

While I respect your opinion, you seem to make an aweful lot of assumptions regarding me. First of all, we have 4 kids ranging in age from 6 - 12. We HAVE to communicate sometimes. Secondly, I have NEVER engaged post-divorce. Yeah, I used to argue back all the time before I filed, but the abuse escalated so frighteningly that I learned real quickly how to disengage. The 12 phone calls were never answered. Neither were all the texts. He just repeatedly harasses me in these ways knowing there is nothing legally that would be done about it. The texts almost always have pertainent info that I need with insults written in between causing me to either read it, or ignore it and miss out on my kids activities or my due time with them.

Show me a way to raise these kids 50-50 with him and not be in contact and I swear, I'll buy your gas for a year!!!

Post Extras Print Post   Remind Me!     Notify Moderator


Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Men now you can harness the power of VAWA !!! rogerisright 08/12/08 02:39 AM
. * * Re: Men now you can harness the power of VAWA !!! Relayer   08/12/08 11:29 AM
. * * Re: Men now you can harness the power of VAWA !!! javajunkiee   08/16/08 07:10 AM
. * * Re: Men now you can harness the power of VAWA !!! Relayer   08/18/08 06:07 PM
. * * Relayer ---- javajunkiee   08/18/08 08:19 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- Relayer   08/19/08 11:42 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- almostheaven   08/21/08 07:38 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   08/21/08 11:06 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- almostheaven   08/22/08 06:48 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/15/08 12:35 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- BeckaLeigh   09/22/08 09:36 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- almostheaven   09/23/08 06:45 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- BeckaLeigh   09/23/08 08:46 AM
. * * Nope... almostheaven   09/24/08 01:24 PM
. * * Re: Nope... nolonger   09/24/08 01:39 PM
. * * Re: Nope... almostheaven   09/24/08 02:36 PM
. * * Re: Nope... motorboater   09/24/08 01:54 PM
. * * Re: Nope... nolonger   09/24/08 03:04 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/22/08 01:45 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- googledad   09/22/08 10:42 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- BeckaLeigh   09/22/08 03:40 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- rogerisright   09/22/08 04:04 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/22/08 10:38 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- BeckaLeigh   09/22/08 04:52 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/22/08 02:36 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/23/08 01:44 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/23/08 04:05 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/23/08 05:00 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/23/08 10:29 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/24/08 11:12 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/24/08 01:51 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/24/08 03:08 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/15/08 01:10 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- javajunkiee   08/19/08 09:44 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- Relayer   08/20/08 06:56 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- javajunkiee   08/20/08 08:01 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- rogerisright   08/19/08 04:48 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- Relayer   08/19/08 08:23 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- txks1151   09/18/08 03:29 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/21/08 09:32 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/21/08 10:01 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- I_am_YesDad   09/21/08 10:52 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- nolonger   09/21/08 11:45 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- motorboater   09/21/08 11:07 PM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- ESP   09/21/08 11:57 AM
. * * Re: Relayer ---- Relayer   08/19/08 08:50 PM
. * * Re: Men now you can harness the power of VAWA !!! motorboater   08/16/08 08:43 AM
. * * Re: Men now you can harness the power of VAWA !!! rogerisright   08/19/08 04:57 PM

Extra information
0 registered and 14 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  dsAdmin 



Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Thread views: 11436

Rate this thread

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: