Yes_Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
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Re: Spousal Support for Husband
11/12/08 05:29 AM
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[quote]I was in a similar situation as you were. Married 19 years, ex is a bipolar drug addict/alcoholic. He was fired from his job for sexual harassment, then had a durg OD, then tried to kill himself and us.
I purposely postponed the divorce because I was worried about the financial ramifications of SS. I made 6+ times what he did ($135K to his $21K). What a fool I was to wait. His issues spiralled out of control, my kids and I were caught in the middle of his insanity and he could have killed us. Forget the financial pain, you have yourself to protect.
If I were in your shoes I would offer him a generous settlement. I would also consider imputing his income to whatever he could make. My ex tried to commit suicide as well and his lawyer never mentioned that as a reason for SS.
You need to talk to a lawyer but a STBX who isn't trying to get help for his addictions isn't going to get the free ride he thinks he is.
BTW, I settled with my ex. He grew desperate for the money and took $160K from the equity in the house, $20K for his debt, and I pay his medical insurance for 18 months. As soon as April 2009 comes, I am done paying him anything. He walked away without going to trial for SS. If he had I probably would have had to pay him $1000-$1500 for a few years (called rehabilitative SS in IL) to help him get back on his feet.
BTW we were divorced in February and he almost killed himself in a car accident 2 months ago. I can't even imagine if we were still married and that had happened. The drama just isn't worth it. [/quote]
Well, you did the rightthing given the circumstances. It wasn't you that caused the drama nor did you deplete assets.
I don't know what Rehanbilitative would have bought your ex. You are both educated and your insurance would pay for his rehab. He obviously has more problems than a being a drug addict (but like I told you, I just cant see being addicted to couch medicine). His bi-polar is a worse situation. After your insurance is up, he will have to go on Cobra (or is he on that now). He keeps wrecking cars, etc so he is basically out of control. I am also surprised they didn;t nail him more on the carbon monoxide thing with you and the kids. Thats attempted murder. All in all, I think you have done the right thing. A couple of things I might disagree with but still, your family life was careening out of control.
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