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NancyD
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
Re: So ashamed.
      01/06/09 10:36 AM

amber, I think that's a standard line..."not sure I ever loved you." My ex used that, too, after nearly eighteen years together (13 married) and two kids. A while ago, we kidded each other on this board that there must be a manual of lines for the "leavers" to use on their spouses. And all our exes read the same page.

Their confusion about what kind of feelings are needed to sustain a marriage ends up causing them to walk out. When the initial, intense feelings of love die down, they think it's over. Or when they have a sudden chemical attraction to someone else, they think it's a sign the marriage isn't what it's supposed to be.

I don't think there is one definition of what marriage feelings should be. I think there can be several workable sets of feelings that make successful marriages. A lot depends of the culture you are living in and your expectations for married life. But if you and your spouse don't have the same definition, then the marriage is doomed unless there is considerable counseling and growth, and hard work on both sides to reach a common definition.

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* So ashamed. amberpicc 12/03/08 04:10 AM
. * * Re: So ashamed. NancyD   12/03/08 12:26 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. amberpicc   12/03/08 03:40 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. finz   12/09/08 05:03 AM
. * * Re: So ashamed. WYFather   12/10/08 12:45 AM
. * * Re: So ashamed. amberpicc   12/15/08 01:24 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. amberpicc   12/15/08 01:27 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. NancyD   12/16/08 12:09 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. finz   12/17/08 03:03 AM
. * * Re: So ashamed. FishoalBidness   12/18/09 08:17 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. myheart   12/18/09 10:08 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. pokey   02/02/10 10:49 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. RIPadre   12/20/08 05:00 AM
. * * Re: So ashamed. amberpicc   12/19/08 10:50 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. NancyD   01/06/09 10:36 AM
. * * Re: So ashamed. FitChik   01/04/09 09:24 PM
. * * Re: So ashamed. SusieRedWine   12/10/08 02:39 PM

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