I guess I need to clarify and few things...
It was never the intent to base anything, most importantly, my marriage, on a single question. I have not received much feedback from him since he left six months ago and have made many attempts to communicate with him about US and what is going to happen, what he wants to happen, and what we are/need to work on, without much success. Communication is vital in any relationship and we are definitely lacking in the area, so any feedback from him is helpful. I think I am fearful of the answer because he always turns the questions back on me as he did with the one mentioned above. I really just want him to answer for himself, no one else. I just want to know what his feelings/thoughts, I know mine.
As far as my girls....everything! If/when he does come back marriage counseling is a must! Life needs to have family as priority and job second, he does not understand that. I will honestly attempt, whole-heartedly to rebuild my marriage, but it takes two and I don't know if both are going to give 100%.
I also know it would be wrong to stay in a marriage that does not display respect, love, and emotion; instead, regret and resentment. My girls would suffer from living in that sort of environment as well.
So, the way I see it (and anyone tell me if I am wrong, please), I have three options: 1)He moves back in, we go to counseling, it works (wonderful) or it does not and we have to go through the tears again of separating for the second time. 2) He moves back to town and finds his own place while we attend counseling, again not knowing if it will work. 3) We divorce.
Honestly, I do not know what I want to do and I definitely do not know what he wants because of his lack of communication. We will have the conversation soon enough.
Life has been tough trying to figure out single motherhood, but, on the other hand, it has been much easier too. I don't have to worry about coming home and bickering with him, getting upset because I get no help with the girls after and long day at work and he has been at home all day, or going to bed feeling trapped and frustrated.
By no means is this a light situation or am I taking it in any other way, shape, or form as a huge, life-changing situation. I am just struggling to get the words out and am undoubtedly making critical mistakes in doing so.