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Reged: 04/22/09
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Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida
      04/22/09 03:19 PM

I just learned that my ex-wife plans to move from Illinois to Florida with our two minor children. We have joint custody. She is the custodial parent, but I am actively involved in their lives as I have been prior to the divorce in 2004. I pay child support on time and pay for activities, vacations, birthday parties, proms, etc. The divorce was brutal on everyone, because we did everything as a family. It took three years to complete and settle all the assets. With five children during a 20-year marriage, despite advice from my attorney who I hired reluctantly to finalize the divorce, I left a home, car and other possessions to build my new life. How could I wage a bitter fight when the victims were the five children? Two years after the divorce, we were able to interact cordially on behalf of the children, such as gathering for Thanksgiving, Christmas and college tours, all at my expense. While she works in healthcare, she decided last year to leave her job, because she was exhausted, mainly from trying to maintain the large home we shared together. I believe it has stressed her out and with finances and pressure mounting, she has become depressed. And the cold, long winters of Illinois have not help in this matter, so now she wants to relocate with the children. She did not tell me directly. I actually learn this from my aunt. When I attempted to discuss this matter with her, she said she moved five times for my career and if I love the children, I can move near them in Florida. She said nothing is going to stop her from moving, because she is depressed in Illinois. Neither of us have family here. Last year, I remarried, but my spouse lives abroad until her contract concludes later this year. This news about the relocation was a bombshell to me, and it has impacted me like the divorce, which caught me off guard. As stated earlier, I didn't fight her during the divorce, which took three years to finalize. I knew there was little I could do, because when she puts her mind to something, she is as strong as a bull. To stop her will only cause more pain and destruction of the family. Now, we are about to repeat this again. But there are some concerns I have here. First, I don't won't them to move, or at least I don't want the children to move. I have shared with her that I am willing to take the children and she can move to Florida and seek the new start she desires. But she says she will not let her children live with me and my new wife. She says the children do not like her and she is afriad my wife will mistreat the children if I am not present or out of town on a business trip. My concerns are that she has not worked fulltime for the past year. On several ocassions, I have had to give her money in an emergency situation for utilities (in the thousands) and for a new furnace(in the thousands). Without my support, the kids would have been in the cold. I had to even pay for her, along with three of my children, to travel to Washington for my son's graduation from college. She simply did not have the cash, and I could not use this moment to disappoint my son. Although our divorce decree calls for us to pay 1/3 of children's college tuition, I paid 90 percent of my son's education. I am sure in her field, she can find a job in Florida, but there is nothing set in stone, no job, no home. Does she have to go before a judge to do this? What rights do I have? But, more importantly, how can this be done without a battle that will cause more damage to the children? We have come to far to be thrust back into all the bitterness, pain and anger. It appears for there to be a peaceful existence, it always comes at my expense financialy and emotionally and maybe physically. I am getting older. All I want to do is be there for the children like I was prior to the divorce, but that will be impossible if she moves to Florida. I need some advice, especially from mothers and fathers who have been in this situation.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida mrjtthomas 04/22/09 03:19 PM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida Misslisa1017   04/22/09 06:03 PM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida mrjtthomas   04/22/09 07:48 PM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida Misslisa1017   04/23/09 11:48 AM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida Misslisa1017   04/23/09 11:49 AM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida mommyof9   04/25/09 10:24 PM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida Yetter01   05/07/09 03:57 PM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida mrjtthomas   05/13/09 10:43 AM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida Yes_Dad   05/14/09 06:54 PM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida Buckeye   04/23/09 02:52 AM
. * * Re: Ex Wife Plans Move with Children to Florida myangels   04/22/09 06:11 PM

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