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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Domestic Violence/Abuse


Reged: 02/05/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Illinois
Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back"
      05/09/09 04:32 PM

Dear, from someone who was also abused (physically as well as emotionally) you need to see a counselor as well. I mean that in the best sense of the word. Your post shouts the need for someone to talk to and who will tell you not necessarily what you want to hear, but will tell you what you need to hear.

You already know not to go back. Having been where you are at, I can tell you that going back will only make matters worse. It will just tighten the hold he THINKS he has on you. WHy would he actually go get help when he can talk you into going back to him without it? I would NEVER consider going back to him until he has successfully completed therapy and not a moment before. That will tell you if he is really going to put forth his best effort to change. Who decides if he has completed therapy? The therapist, not him, and not you.

You need to take care of yourself first before you think about returning to him as well. You are a person who is worthy of affection and respect. Those are two things you apparently were not getting in your marraige. You will not be happy as a couple (whether with him or someone else) until you are happy with yourself.

Good luck. Stay strong. If that means not talking to him then don't. Have an attorney talk to him for you if need be. If he thinks even for a minute you are going to give in he will not give you any peace. He will keep hounding away at you until he gets what he wants. He appears to have the qualities of a stalker and a physical abuser. Do not take his actions lightly because he hasn't actually hit you yet.

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" Kai 05/08/09 01:17 PM
. * * Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" saks   11/23/09 01:12 PM
. * * Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" apples   05/09/09 04:32 PM
. * * Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" gsabas   07/13/09 07:50 AM
. * * Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" advisor4qb   07/18/09 09:38 PM
. * * Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" kathyd04   09/19/09 04:48 PM
. * * Re: Hi ! new here, need some help 'not going back" snlz   10/07/09 11:43 AM

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