I recently went back to IA to see my gs for his b-day. his parents are not married and have had a very stormy relationship, moving approx 8-10 times in the last 12 months, being evicted out of their apts many times, living with friends for brief periods of time, and my daughter not keeping a job, her bf has one however does not always make it to work. their relationship has involved domestic violence from both sides, an inability to pay their bills, having cars repossed,etc. all the while my gs has been in the middle of this mess. I and my SO have offered several times to my daughter to come and live with us, get her life on track and to help her provide for our gs till she could get on her feet and out of a terrible situation. she would not ever take us up on the offer, always stating she knew better, and could provide for her son. This weekend while i was there, it all hit the fan. my gs had earlier in the week gotten out of the hosp. with rsv. she had been staying at her dads house with her son because she has no phone, no car, and if her son needed to return to the hospital she and her bf would have no way of getting him there, she had also stated to her dad and myself she was ready to get out of her situation, so we were going to try to help her. In any case when i got to ia, my daughter brought her son over to great g-ma's house to see everyone, afterwards she wanted me to meet a friend of hers she was thinking of moving in with, she then returned to her apt with the excuse being she wanted her son to see his dad, the two of them proceeded to yell and throw items at each other, in front of their son and myself. i attempted to get her to leave, telling her that her son did not need to be exposed to this, she would not leave and they would not stop, so i took the car (not mine, her dads) and left with my gs. i dropped off gs with his great g-ma and returned for gs belongings (diaper bag etc) and hopefully my daughter. she reluctantly left with me. both myself and my mother spent the next couple of hours talking with her and offering ways to help her get out of the situation and her need to focus on her son. we thought when she left with her son in tow, she was returning to her fathers for the night. instead she returned to the apt, where later in the middle of the night at 130am i got a phone call to come and get her and the gs, she had left and walked out in the snow with my gs after her and her bf had fought-physically. the police were called, reports made etc. mind you this entire time my gs is still sick running a temp over 104, on neb treatments etc. they stayed at with me at great gmas. in the morning my daughter had an appt for DHS to acquire assistance to help in providing for her son. i offered to take her, however she was mad at me for telling her to get her [censored] together during the night and refused for me to take her. her son cont to not feel well and she wanted to take him to the dr, but would not let me take them either. i procedded to make contact with DHS and make out a report of abuse/neglect. i was fed up with my gs being in the middle of these two's circus of a so called life. the day ended with my gs being removed from the home, and placed with my sister (i couldn't have him because i live out of state). my gs will be made a CHINA child (child in need of assistance) and live with my sister. now both the bf and my daughter have 1 year to prove stability and the ability to care for their son, the DHS worker is putting in her report, that these two should not live together with the child, due to the violence. If either parent is unable to do this then my gs will need to placed into a permanent home and his parents rights will be terminated. myself and my SO want to have the gs with us.
This was a very difficult choice i made, i tried to help my daughter but she refused all offers of assistance and i could no longer watch my gs live with these two "parents" who have yet to provide a stable loving enviornment for him. has anyone else dealt with this.
live today like it's your last, for tomorrow may not come.