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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Saving Your Marriage

losingfaith
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Reged: 01/26/09
Posts: 650

Re: feel like I'm unraveling

09/25/09 02:51 PM

Well first of all I don’t think a say at home mom has it easy regardless of the number of kids. Being with your kids can be a fantastic reward but can also drive someone nuts with out someone around to have an adult conversation with.

I saw first hand how hard it was for my wife especially with out a car. I don’t know about your situation but knew how each of our jobs were hard but ultimately I think that this was more then she could bare and in the end she decided to divorce me anyway even despite the fact that I had almost saved enough to get her that car. Unfortunately she will never know this now because she has left and isn't even seeking to me.

Another thing that was hard on her was the fact that we are both originally form Louisiana but live in Texas and have very few people to hang out with here. Needless to say this made her unhappy and her unhappiness was made even worse because the last couple we did make friends with, ended badly. He (the husband of the other couple) came on to my wife. The sad part is I kind of had a feeling about him from the start but didn’t want to say anything because we were all friends. Needless to say It was a rude awakening for me.

That disconnection you feel will come and go through all relationships especially if the romance and intimacy had faded, but it can be found again if you really want to. You just have to make that choice to do so. Remember some of us will fall in and out of the emotional side of love with our spouses over and over throughout a long term relationship but true love is not an emotion, it is a choice!!

One of the things I dislike about our society is that marriage is intended to be a life long commitment and takes work!! It doesn’t just happen for the vast majority of us, but because everyone just expects it to happen with out an effort; this ultimately leaves many with a feeling of unwillingness to even try…
The divorce rate has spieled out of control.

You asked “How do I hold on when I feel like I am settling?”

Get your husband on board and take control of it. Steer it in a different direction. The house doesn’t get clean by its self, does it?
Your kids don’t just behave, do they?
The answer is no we have to put forth the efforts to make things like that happen.

My question is...
if you have made a choice to put forth the effort to do theses things then why is it so hard to do the same for your marriage?

You said “I just want more out of life.”

So get more!! You mentioned that if this came to an end you would have to go back to work. Why not start there? If the hours will interrupt being home for your kids take a part time job or look into working from home.

If that doesn’t sound like something you would like to do take some dance lessons or something along that line.

I have been depressed the last few weeks after she left and I’m going to give you the same advice a friend gave me a week ago…

There is a whole world outside that door and it’s screaming for your attention!!
Maybe it's time to answer the door!

I truly hope you don't give up on him as my wife has done to me.

Take the dare…
It could change the outcome of everything

--------------------
Standing above the crowd he had a voice that was strong and loud

Edited by losingfaith (09/25/09 08:03 PM)

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/22/09 03:50 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/23/09 11:42 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/23/09 04:10 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/24/09 03:35 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/24/09 06:39 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/25/09 10:11 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/25/09 02:15 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/25/09 02:51 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/28/09 01:20 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/28/09 09:22 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	ConfusedDadNH	11/03/09 11:01 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/29/09 12:16 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	BeachBabeRN	09/29/09 06:07 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	09/29/09 08:55 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	BeachBabeRN	09/29/09 10:07 AM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/29/09 12:06 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	AloneInTheDark	09/29/09 07:31 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	lostconfused72	09/29/09 07:59 PM
Re: feel like I'm unraveling	losingfaith	10/05/09 02:04 PM

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