20lasttime
recently joined
Reged: 10/07/09
Posts: 10
Loc: Asheville NC
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Confusing
10/07/09 02:31 PM
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Hello All, Im Recently Seperated from my husband of One Year, yeah i know 1 year, i feel like a failure, i know i shouldnt but i do, of course being only 20 it makes me feel, i may never be happy agian because here is this huge D card hanging over my head and how can someone see me as a committed person again, even though I put my all into it.
My husband was very controling and very mean, not physically but emotionally he had me twisted up inside, when id leave the house, hed call and question my every move, when i was around friends he'd call agian asking so many questions and when i returned home, he'd yell until the wall was hit or something was broke. Of course i wasnt the type to sit back and take a yelling either, i would always snap, eventually having everything thrown back into my face, twisted up and leaving me the one broken down in a corner crying for hours like a kid!
I never stopped loving him, but i did start loosing the feeling quick, and now that we are seperated it seems even harder, at the same time relieved.
Now im focused on moving forward but certain things i do remind me of how it was before the fighting and wish to try and get it back (knowing i wont) it drives me crazy and makes me sick at myself for not trying even harder than i feel i could have! I don't know what im trying to say or even ask guess i just want an opinion from another person who may have this same thing going on!!!
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trixytang
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