Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Confusing
10/07/09 07:27 PM
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Welcome.. and sorry for what you are going through. That said, this is a great group and you will find folks here who understand what you are going through. There are the old timers, like myself, and many newcomers like yourself. Some of us came out of long term marriages (mine was 30 years plus 4 years dating prior) and some out of short term.
You are not a failure and try to forget about what you called the D card. That feeling will pass. I think you should consider yourself wise, and lucky, to get out now. He has not hit you YET. As the daughter of a man who was physically abusive to Mom, and an ex who was passive-agressive... I fully believe that what is now walls being hit and things broken would step up to YOU being hit and your bones broken. There is a pattern that is common in domestic violence and your husband fits the pattern.. jealous, controlling, mean, hits and throws.
It takes a while for the feeling of.. wanting what it was when it was good ...to pass. After all, there had to be something good there at one time or you would not have fallen in love with him. I have been divorced for 4 years now and will admit to missing my EX. He was a great guy at one time, and good to me and to be with. But that man was gone from the marriage long before he physically left it.
Seems to me that it was he who should have tried harder. Hopefully he will get into some anger management classes and learn to control his anger and agression. If not, he will continue to kill relationships. This is of course all just my opinion and not meant to hurt you in any way.
Be very thankful that there are no children, for a few reasons. I think you should consider yourself lucky to get out before the DV starts, before you have children and before you invest too much of your youth with a controlling, mean, angry man.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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