Lovemygirls
recently joined
Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 13
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Re: update
11/22/09 09:41 AM
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Its been a while since I have been here. I guess I've just been dealing. We are still in counseling and are stable. I'm back to drinking on weekends.
The verbal abuse is no longer there. We are civil to one another. We do have friendship we talk to each other.
However, I can't get over the feeling that I am just not in love with her. Its a very oppressing feeling. I feel trapped as I don't want to give up the house and family, but I just can't get past it.
I don't feel attracted to her. I look at her and I don't feel love. I am in fact, at times, repulsed by her. I know this is bad, but being brutually honest.
I have many dreams about being in a relationship where I feel in love.
I just don't know.
Regarding the drinking, she isn't supportive of it. I told her this week that i was trying to stop drinking again and later that day she told me some friends were having a party and we should get a sitter and go (drinking).
I just don't know. There is also the issue of her habits that drive me nuts.
Its just crushing to me that neither one of us would be able to afford the house alone so we'd both end up in aparmtents. My daughters are 2 and 3. I feel like they'd be hurt badly. And I would hurt as I want to see them every day.
Is there any custody arrangment that allows the parents to see the kids daily? I can't imagine only seeing them like every 3 days or something like that.
I just feel like it isn't fair to either of us for me to stay with someone I don't feel like I love just for the kids. Help!!
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