Just happened across this site tonight. I'm 28 and my husband is 32. We've been together 11 years, married a little more than 9 of those. I was only 17 when we moved in together. We have 4 children....great children.
The day after Thanksgiving, my husband came to me and OUT OF NOWHERE, said he wanted a divorce. He did do this in front of our kids...needless to say they older kids were very upset, as was I. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, my whole life was over, and I didn't know how or why. It took 2 weeks, me begging him to go to therapy with me, work on things, 'don't just throw everything away without trying' was my mantra. I finally looked at his cell phone one morning...found text messages from another woman. Come to find out that he had a 2nd cell phone as well, it was just luck that I found these on his work phone (mind you, I NEVER check his phone, I have TRUSTED him so completely all these years, but I just couldn't figure any of this out, so I looked). He also had a second email address, a secret facebook account, a meeting place all set up for them....she is ALSO married with 2 kids. He admitted that morning that it had been going on for quite awhile. He as happy to leave, and moved in with his girlfriend and her mother (I know this gets wierd).
I called her husband, and so she left her husband and moved in with her mom...hence then the nice mother she has(ugh) invited my husband to live there too. There is SO much more, and I don't want to scare anyone away with a too long of a story.
I'm a mess. I filed for divorce and he was served on Christmas Eve, but he STILL hasn't responded. Yes he has a lawyer. He has been officialy gone since Dec.10th. Has only given me $300 of child support(that's what he wrote in the memo of the check). we have 4 kids, mortgage, bills, need groceries!!! I make a $10/hr, and am not guaranteed 40 hrs a week....it gets better too. He just got fired...so while he HAD money to help me he wasn't. Now he has NO job, so he's definitely not going to help.
How does a person do this? How can he have an affair, 'not feel upset about it', move in with the married girlfriend(who has left her husband and kids), and then not AT ALL financially help? Does he really think he can just totally forget we exist? And how can he just STOP loving me...that hurts so much
Hope this wasn't too long, I'm sorry!