NlightNlove
recently joined
Reged: 03/05/10
Posts: 8
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Re: I need help
03/05/10 01:46 PM
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It seems like there are several of us who wish to reach out to you because we've been there, felt those same feelings, and want you to know that it will get better. After my ex moved out, I went back to school, trained for a 1/2 marathon, and started seeing a therapist. These actions helped me to focus more on caring for myself and creating a new family with just me and my girls. The initial grief was overwhelming, but it gets better - it really does! You owe it to yourself and to your child to move on. Acknowledge your anger, your sadness, the dreams that you have lost, and let them go - you could even write them out on paper, then burn them ceremoniously. Start thinking about the new life you want to live - this isn't the end! It can be the start of an even better life - I am living proof. The first step is in acknowledging that you are stuck- so you're already on the way. Now do something for you - pick a goal - any goal- and go for it! I liked the idea of redecorating, or create a vision board of your dreams (your child will like this, too!), or take a class, or join a divorce support group in person, or join a book club, or take up running - there are so many amazing things out there in the world in which you can learn and improve yourself!
You need a new focus in life, one that empowers you. I wish you luck in your new life.
Nicole
p.s. I've now completed my undergraduate degree and am working on my Master's while setting up a coaching company. I wouldn't have done any of it had I not gone through my divorce! Oh - and I met the man of my dreams and we were married this summer. It has made me realize how unfit my ex and I actually were for each other.
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