Jsmith5550
newbie
Reged: 10/15/08
Posts: 29
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It's Been a long time
07/07/10 09:55 PM
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I've been divorced now for almost 3 years and I still can't believe it. I haven't posted on here in almost 2 years and I decided to start working on me again. I'm in bad need of help getting over my ex wife. I loved and still do love her so much and I don't WANT to love her anymore. I just can't make it stop. I just keep waiting and hoping every single day of my life that she will change her mind about me. I still think about her all day every day and it's driving me insane. 3 years is too long to still be so much in love with her. I have absolutely ZERO desire to date another woman. I don't find any other woman half as attractive as I do my ex wife. I just can't get her off my mind, sadly I fantasize about still being married to her. In my warped mind we go on dates, play with our son, do family type things, and this happens every single night. I just miss so much about her it's so hard to keep going each day. The only time it gets easier is when I have my son and can focus on him, but even then I want to share him and the fun we have with her, because that's his mother and that's what we had planned when we got married and had him. The best parts of my week are the combined 5-7 minutes I get to see her exchanging our son. I miss her so bad and what we had and what we could still have together, and I want it to stop.
So, what I would like are some ideas on what the heck i can possibly do to get her off my mind, and stop loving her so badly. I have 0 friends so going out or whatever isn't an option, I work 45 minutes away so co-workers aren't an option for finding friends, I don't like or go to bars, I don't really LIKE anything anymore. I just keep waiting and waiting and hoping that some day she'll change her mind, and it's crazy because I KNOW it will never happen. I was so emotionally screwed up when she left that I just lost my mind, and the only thing I could find to ease the pain was to fantasize that we were still together and that helped me get through each day without all the anxiety and being unable to breathe or function, and now that I'm starting to realize what my life has become, I just don't want that anymore. I want to live my life and not just wait and wait and hope, because at the end of the day I KNOW it will never happen. I'm starting to get that panicky feeling back and I'm starting to get panic attacks again when I think about it. I need help very badly and am willing to do whatever it takes to get my mind back, and enjoy life again. So if anybody has any kind of idea about what I can do I will do anything, please help!!!!
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