ByHisGrace
newbie
Reged: 09/10/06
Posts: 27
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Re: Too many mistakes
08/06/10 08:15 PM
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There is a book out about divorce called " Crazy Time." The title is completely appropriate. I would highly recommend you read it. It helped me to understand my uncharacteristic behavior (anger, depression, feeling out of control, etc.)during my separation and divorce.
Spouses and Exes do a lot of things to make you crazy when they want to move on, and they know exactly what buttons to push to do that...then they point the finger at you, and say you are "crazy." Well, yes, temporarily, you are. They have purposely driven you over the edge to justify their behavior and/or relieve their guilt.
I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this terrible ordeal.
If your wife was trying to play the innocent victim to her family, while having an affair, I can understand why you forwarded the email to her family.
My husband's family, (they lived out of state) believed every lying word he said, right up until the time I mailed them the documents he had to fill out for my attorney, admitting he was having an affair with one of our employees.
I'm totally against going into anyone's private e-mail account...UNLESS a spouse thinks their spouse is cheating, and the spouse is denying it. This is "crazy making" to the extreme. You needed to know that you weren't crazy!
Hopefully, you have gained control over your emotions and are on more stable footing now. Your children really need you to be stable for them. Even if you have to fake it until you make it.
I agree with a previous poster about getting counseling for yourself. You need someone to talk and vent to...and it can't be your children. They are probably as upset as you are.
I have a feeling that the majority of people on this site wish they had handled things differently with their spouses, and their children, in the early stages of their divorce. I wish I had. However, unfortunately, I don't think I was emotionally capable of doing any better then I did at the time.
My heart goes out to you and your children.
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"Once you realize that life is basically ridiculous, you can relax and enjoy it!"
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