"But that doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't waste my time. I would just end the marriage and work on what I did wrong in the marriage."
At least twice prior to the affair, I tried to do this. But it's not important now, in fact, it wasn't important to the questions I was asked by other forum members.
"Even in my marriage, which ended because of my ex's abusive behavior, I am not blameless in the end of my marriage."
I'd think admitting my part in it is part of trying to right my wrongs. And trying to make the best of what remains is a GOOD thing. But even so, is it important? Not toward the original question, no. but maybe as a response that offers some semblance of having learned from a mistake? Yeah.
"I wouldn't be surprised if the current marriage ends due to cheating. They have both shown that they are quite capable of cheating"
It's possible. It's a risk I took with my X, and one he took with me (and I knew of his infidelity with his first wife). It's a risk ANY of us take. But is that risk important now? Nope. I'm here, and I'm doing the best I can to make it work - right here, right now. And that is all I can do. I can't worry about what's going to happen tomorrow.
When it comes to the skidmarks (this isn't to answer you, Goodmom), gr8dad, and others, are welcome to comment. In doing so, however, I think it all the comments and predictions are irrelevant to right here, and right now.
It happened. There's nothing I can do about it to CHANGE it now, EXCEPT attempt to make lemonade of the lemons. And the fact that I have been given the opportunities I have - to be a FT parent, to volunteer and work at our daughters school - nothing Gr8dad can say can change that either.
The principal of the school knows about my infidelity. I discussed it with her the very first time I met with her as my X and I were evaluating schools. It's one of the reasons our daughter attends there, because she DID respond with a message of grace and mercy, and it was something my entire family (me, my DH, and my X) needed very desperately - for the sake of the kids.
I count myself incredibly fortunate that an opportunity exists as the one I have before me. The message the principal had for me that day many months ago is one which said to me, "Hey, we ALL screw up. But it's not a life sentence."
I'm where I need to be - which is a LONG way from the past.