"If they need something I have been there for them when their father has not. Not because he is out working hard to make money for the family, he is at that time, out running around."
So he was a lousy husband, I get that. Amazingly enough, he spent, per YOU, a "majority" of the money, yet the bills were paid and you are able to support an adult child out of the income. Sorry, that does not wash.
"Not sure why you are so against that notion..."
I am not against the notion of helping the children. But YOU seem to want to have HIM help the adult child MORE than you do, because he CAN. And THAT is what is wrong, and THAT is what will make you look greedy in court. You seem to think that supporting an adult child is a great idea, but YOU are not having to do it. You will get your income, spousal support, child support, etc. He will get to PAY for it. Can you see how your perspective is slightly skewed?
"If he wants to help pay, great! If he doesn't then its his relationship with his son, not mine."
Are you saying that if Dad cannot afford to pay for your ADULT child's support, then the RELATIONSHIP will suffer? Why is that?
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...