chicago2010
recently joined
Reged: 10/05/10
Posts: 1
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Please help, I'm losing it
10/05/10 02:24 PM
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I'm a new user from Chicago. Married for just over 7 years, and we realized about 6 months ago that we're headed for divorce. Our relationship has always been a rocky one. Things got worse when my mom passed away, and my father needed looking after. On top of that, we've spent almost $10K in home repairs (not upgrades, but structural problems and damage). We both work full-time and go to school part-time, so there's a lot of strain on both of us right now. I've been preparing to leave (he will be left with house because I cannot afford the mortgage payments on my own), and hoping that we wouldn't have to hate each other after all was said and done. A few months ago, he got a new phone, and started text messaging all the time. After a few weeks of this, I began to question him about who he was always writing to, and he played it off at first and said it was just to friends or co-workers. Then I realized he had set a [censored] on his phone. During this time, he had hired a friend's "girlfriend" to do work around the house, and at first, it appeared that she did. But I became suspicious about all the time that she was spending in our house. After all, she didn't just come by to clean/do odd jobs; he was letting her use our personal computer to apply for other jobs. He claimed he only did this to be helpful to his friend's girlfriend, but when I told him I didn't want strangers using our computer, he got defensive. A few weeks later, we got into a huge fight over this girl. Then, one morning, I guessed the [censored] correctly and unlocked his phone. I looked at the messages, and saw that he had been sending flirtatious messages to this very same girl--a girl my husband himself had told me had at least two boyfriends. She had invited him out to drink with her, but he turned her down. As I read through more of the messages, I saw some that were exchanged the day after my husband and I had gotten into that huge fight. He said bad things about me to her, and she called me crazy. I also saw that he had written bad things about me to other friends, and I just lost it. I confronted him, we fought, but ultimately, we agreed to get along until we formally divorced. He swore he wouldn't contact that girl ever again. Well, I just checked our wireless phone account, and I can see that he's exchanged at least 5 messages with this girl in the last 1.5 weeks. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm losing it. Someone please tell me what to do.
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