
lotus85
recently joined
Reged: 10/13/10
Posts: 1
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Re: Morality Clause
10/13/10 07:48 PM
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I live with my boyfriend too. He has a 2-year old daughter as well. We do plan on getting married next year. As far as your bf's ex is concerned, plan on her playing this game on and off for the next several years. I get along and communicate on a regular basis with my bf's ex however she likes to pull out the rug from under my feel when she feels threatened or whenever she feels insecure. I completely understand why she feels this way and when she wants to be a big baby, I let her and just step back. If your bf's ex knows about you now, she's probably got such an internal struggle going on inside herself. These feelings will make her irrational, irate, and vindictive. My mom always said "Hell hath no furry like a scorned lover" or something like that Just keep your head up high. Your "moral" decisions are your business. People will judge you right and left but that's their opinion. His daughter is #1 priority to him (and you if that's your decision) and it helps to remind ALL parties involved that her needs come first. If you are aiding in that process, then good for you! I truly believe it takes a very big hearted person to care for other people's children. It's quite a task...and not just the parenting part, but the dealing with ex's, paying bills, being a girlfriend, helping parent a small child, AND still making time to work and live your life to the fullest. Good luck! Don't stress. It takes a lot to motion for some kind of "moral clause" and she would in deed have to prove that this is for the betterment of her child and if you can document how and when you help care for that child, it will make you look better in case you ever have to defend yourself. Any positive interaction you have with the ex (if any in the future) should be documented as well so you can show a judge that you did in deed have a good rapor with her at some point. This will make her look impulsive and jealous. Most judges don't really entertain jealousy or lashing out ex's. They can usually see through that bs.
Now this is totally my OWN opinion, but if she were older, like 4 or 5 I would say that this situation poses more controversy; however, she is so young and her cognative abilities are just developing. She will not remember the difference from daddy being alone or daddy having you around. Granted, I'm not saying decisions involving a 2 year old child won't affect her, just that if all is good and harmonious, you are doing no harm to her. I'm sure she loves you just as much as you love her. Good luck!
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