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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Life After Divorce

mikec73
recently joined

Reged: 12/02/10
Posts: 7

Duh...need to figure this out

12/02/10 12:53 AM

Sigh..here I go. I am a divorced dad of three awesome kids who has started to piece my life back together after two years post divorce. Long story short I was deployed to Afghanistan and she was dealing with high stress, overwhelming grief through loss of her father and independence issues (i guess??). All of this and I am sure more, resulted in my divorce in 08 which I tried to prevent. Since the divorce (uncontested with not many provisions)the ex and I have maintained a cordial/friend like relationship. We are both in committed relationships with other people but still talk about work and life stuff (not including my girlfriend). My girlfriend tells me that she sees an unhealthy attachment between me and my ex and my gf frequently tells me how the ex and I don't have boundaries. She observes(feels) that I am being taken advantage of financially (this I can't deny) and that my ex runs all over me getting her way in everything.

I feel her comments are not completely without merit but I have a fear that should I start putting my foot down with the ex then our relationship would change to the detriment of my kids. Perhaps I am just scared that this would"officially" be the end of a relationship that I held for ten years. This is where I turn to you my new friends. I feel that my wonderful gf is on the brink of leaving me after a year because of these observations. While I am trying to help her understand the situation, she does not have kids of her own and left a bad/abusive marriage after 13 years.

I feel stupid at times because the things she mentions make perfect logical sense but emotionally I am barricaded to the change. That is where I feel the duh comes in. I am at a loss for words to help explain my situation and I need to figure out what next so I don't lose my sanity or my girlfriend or both. Please help.

Many Thanks

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
Duh...need to figure this out	mikec73	12/02/10 12:53 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	KiwiGirl	12/09/10 02:48 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	BeachBabeRN	12/09/10 03:07 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	mikec73	12/09/10 08:25 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	mikec73	12/09/10 08:36 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	finz	12/09/10 09:22 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	mikec73	12/10/10 02:58 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	BeachBabeRN	12/10/10 08:00 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	english7	12/11/10 10:46 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	KiwiGirl	12/11/10 12:49 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	Debi	12/03/10 11:11 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	BeachBabeRN	12/04/10 07:05 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	mikec73	12/06/10 09:47 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	bmjmema	01/01/11 03:24 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	BeachBabeRN	12/07/10 08:04 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	DramaMama	12/07/10 10:27 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	Debi	12/12/10 07:17 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	finz	12/08/10 01:43 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	mikec73	12/08/10 09:13 PM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	Redlegg	12/08/10 07:41 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	finz	12/08/10 08:19 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	finz	12/07/10 08:00 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	bacall	12/02/10 08:55 AM
Re: Duh...need to figure this out	d2njti	12/02/10 11:49 AM

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