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mikec73
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Reged: 12/02/10
Posts: 7
Duh...need to figure this out
      12/02/10 12:53 AM

Sigh..here I go. I am a divorced dad of three awesome kids who has started to piece my life back together after two years post divorce. Long story short I was deployed to Afghanistan and she was dealing with high stress, overwhelming grief through loss of her father and independence issues (i guess??). All of this and I am sure more, resulted in my divorce in 08 which I tried to prevent. Since the divorce (uncontested with not many provisions)the ex and I have maintained a cordial/friend like relationship. We are both in committed relationships with other people but still talk about work and life stuff (not including my girlfriend). My girlfriend tells me that she sees an unhealthy attachment between me and my ex and my gf frequently tells me how the ex and I don't have boundaries. She observes(feels) that I am being taken advantage of financially (this I can't deny) and that my ex runs all over me getting her way in everything.

I feel her comments are not completely without merit but I have a fear that should I start putting my foot down with the ex then our relationship would change to the detriment of my kids. Perhaps I am just scared that this would"officially" be the end of a relationship that I held for ten years. This is where I turn to you my new friends. I feel that my wonderful gf is on the brink of leaving me after a year because of these observations. While I am trying to help her understand the situation, she does not have kids of her own and left a bad/abusive marriage after 13 years.

I feel stupid at times because the things she mentions make perfect logical sense but emotionally I am barricaded to the change. That is where I feel the duh comes in. I am at a loss for words to help explain my situation and I need to figure out what next so I don't lose my sanity or my girlfriend or both. Please help.

Many Thanks

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Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Duh...need to figure this out mikec73 12/02/10 12:53 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out KiwiGirl   12/09/10 02:48 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out BeachBabeRN   12/09/10 03:07 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out mikec73   12/09/10 08:25 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out mikec73   12/09/10 08:36 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out finz   12/09/10 09:22 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out mikec73   12/10/10 02:58 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out BeachBabeRN   12/10/10 08:00 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out english7   12/11/10 10:46 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out KiwiGirl   12/11/10 12:49 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out Debi   12/03/10 11:11 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out BeachBabeRN   12/04/10 07:05 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out mikec73   12/06/10 09:47 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out bmjmema   01/01/11 03:24 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out BeachBabeRN   12/07/10 08:04 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out DramaMama   12/07/10 10:27 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out Debi   12/12/10 07:17 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out finz   12/08/10 01:43 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out mikec73   12/08/10 09:13 PM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out Redlegg   12/08/10 07:41 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out finz   12/08/10 08:19 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out finz   12/07/10 08:00 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out bacall   12/02/10 08:55 AM
. * * Re: Duh...need to figure this out d2njti   12/02/10 11:49 AM

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