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Divorce Source Community Forums >> Spousal Support/Alimony

yngwies_guitar
journeyman

Reged: 01/11/10
Posts: 61

Re: My court hearing

12/16/10 01:29 PM

Wow things are certainly getting heated here.

Passion about this issue is a good thing because the laws concerning alimony/maintenance seem to be fundamentally unfair in most states, particularly here in IL.

I hope that this passion translates into meaningful action to get these laws amended so that some fairness can be injected into the system.

I share both gr8Dad and yregna's frustration with the system as it is because like them I have been personally affected by the current alimony system.

Indeed, it sometimes takes a person to actually experience something themselves before it motivates them to take action.

But perhaps the alimony laws are but a reflection of our society as a whole which seems to have what I call a victim mentality. Nothing is ever anybody's fault, but always someone else's. Personal responsibility seems to be an anachronism.

I can't pretend to know what english is going through for example, because I'm not her. However what I can say is that expecting someone to give you $50K for a short marriage because you feel "cheated" for lack of a better term or because promises were broken seems morally bankrupt.

It's my belief that when most women ask for alimony it isn't because they feel they need it to get on their feet. No. It seems the real reason is that it is for some form of revenge against the other party for what as I said before is an alleged wrong that was committed.

Contrast that with some women out there (God bless them) that would not ask for alimony at all. They were raised to take care of themselves, so when faced with divorce, the thought of someone partially or wholly supporting them after the relationship is over is a foreign and disgusting thought.

But of course personal responsibility cuts both ways. Indeed, most men should know by the time they are married (assuming that there was some significant dating time that occurred prior to marriage) what their wives' career proclivities are). In other words, if your wife to be is a waitress at Hooters and talks glowingly about the prospect of staying home with the kids, that should be a red flag for you men if you don't wish to pay alimony should the marriage dissolve.

It cuts both ways I suppose.

Post Extras

Entire topic
Subject	Posted by	Posted on
My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 07:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/28/10 08:40 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:09 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 10:55 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:09 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 09:13 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:20 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 09:33 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:38 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 09:41 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/28/10 08:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:12 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 10:56 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 09:14 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	11/28/10 09:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:31 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 09:34 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 09:41 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 07:47 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 07:53 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 07:59 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 08:10 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 08:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 08:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	googledad	11/28/10 10:02 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 10:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:00 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/29/10 04:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 05:57 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/29/10 06:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 09:36 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/29/10 10:08 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 10:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	googledad	11/28/10 10:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 11:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	googledad	11/28/10 11:40 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 08:30 AM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:02 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 11:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	yngwies_guitar	11/29/10 01:07 PM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	11/29/10 02:04 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 02:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	1966Gal	11/29/10 03:12 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/29/10 03:56 PM
Re: My court hearing	1966Gal	11/29/10 04:13 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	11/30/10 12:25 AM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	11/29/10 04:31 PM
Re: My court hearing	1966Gal	11/29/10 04:35 PM
Re: My court hearing	googledad	11/29/10 04:26 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 05:48 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/29/10 02:19 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	11/29/10 03:07 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 05:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	11/30/10 12:27 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/30/10 06:33 PM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	12/01/10 04:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	yregna	12/02/10 10:36 AM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	12/03/10 02:32 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/03/10 05:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	SweetLight	12/04/10 12:26 PM
Re: My court hearing	yregna	12/15/10 03:40 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/15/10 04:39 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 05:16 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/15/10 06:49 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 07:21 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/15/10 07:55 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 08:19 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/15/10 08:53 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 09:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/15/10 09:21 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 10:34 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 08:04 AM
Re: My court hearing	yngwies_guitar	12/16/10 01:29 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 01:39 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:08 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:14 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 02:29 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 03:05 PM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	12/16/10 03:32 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 03:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 04:21 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:09 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 05:01 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 08:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 08:21 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 08:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	12/16/10 08:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 08:52 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/16/10 09:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 09:27 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 09:48 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 09:56 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/16/10 10:27 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 11:19 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 11:30 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 11:37 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 11:53 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 10:31 AM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	12/17/10 11:01 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 11:10 AM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	12/17/10 11:22 AM
Re: My court hearing	elliesmom	12/17/10 11:35 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 12:01 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:20 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:16 PM
Re: My court hearing	BeachBabeRN	12/17/10 11:51 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 12:31 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/17/10 12:36 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 12:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/17/10 01:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/17/10 11:57 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 01:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 02:08 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 02:26 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 03:02 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 03:16 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 03:19 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 07:08 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 02:04 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/18/10 12:27 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 02:20 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 02:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 03:07 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 03:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 03:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 10:41 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 05:51 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 03:28 PM
Re: My court hearing	javajunkiee	12/18/10 04:19 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 05:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	12/18/10 05:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 05:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 05:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 06:54 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 07:37 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:32 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:30 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/20/10 10:38 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/20/10 10:45 AM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/20/10 11:01 AM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/20/10 01:28 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/20/10 01:34 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/20/10 01:39 PM
Re: My court hearing	elliesmom	12/21/10 09:56 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/21/10 10:21 AM
Re: My court hearing	elliesmom	12/21/10 10:39 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/21/10 10:44 AM
Re: My court hearing	hanzblinx	12/21/10 10:36 AM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/20/10 01:34 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 06:32 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 09:56 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 10:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 10:52 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:07 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 10:12 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 10:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:01 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 07:47 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 08:34 PM
Re: My court hearing	Arden	12/19/10 09:07 AM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 10:47 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:03 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 10:51 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 06:25 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 11:49 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 10:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	12/18/10 10:21 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 10:26 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 07:16 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 08:47 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 07:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 03:55 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 05:01 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 05:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 04:10 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 04:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 04:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 04:27 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/18/10 03:26 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 01:10 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 01:50 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/18/10 02:37 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/18/10 02:28 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 01:53 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 02:01 PM
Re: My court hearing	javajunkiee	12/18/10 11:57 AM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/18/10 12:25 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 02:13 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/18/10 02:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 02:28 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 02:38 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/18/10 02:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/18/10 03:00 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/18/10 02:31 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 03:13 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 02:00 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/17/10 01:27 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 01:56 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/16/10 11:49 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 11:29 AM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/17/10 11:55 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 12:27 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/17/10 01:23 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 01:41 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/17/10 01:49 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/17/10 02:00 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 02:18 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/17/10 02:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/17/10 02:28 PM
Re: My court hearing	Redlegg	12/17/10 02:36 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/17/10 02:21 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 11:56 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/17/10 12:34 AM
Re: My court hearing	elliesmom	12/17/10 09:01 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 02:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 01:34 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/17/10 02:37 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 03:30 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/17/10 03:36 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 03:44 PM
Re: My court hearing	Sherron	12/17/10 04:04 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/17/10 10:14 AM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:14 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/18/10 11:25 PM
Re: My court hearing	googledad	12/18/10 11:36 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:46 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 10:13 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 10:23 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 10:52 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 11:31 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 11:47 PM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/16/10 10:49 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	12/16/10 08:54 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 09:24 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	12/16/10 09:30 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 09:49 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/16/10 03:35 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 05:06 PM
Re: My court hearing	sampoe50	12/18/10 11:46 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 12:02 AM
Re: My court hearing	sampoe50	12/19/10 06:50 AM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/19/10 06:01 PM
Re: My court hearing	Maury	12/19/10 09:08 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 09:20 AM
Re: My court hearing	DedicatedDad	12/19/10 12:03 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 10:15 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 10:34 AM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 10:59 AM
Re: My court hearing	Maury	12/19/10 09:26 AM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:42 PM
Re: My court hearing	Maury	12/19/10 07:58 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 10:30 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 06:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/19/10 06:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/19/10 09:29 AM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/19/10 07:38 AM
Re: My court hearing	finz	12/18/10 11:47 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	12/16/10 06:20 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/16/10 06:17 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/16/10 06:15 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/16/10 08:08 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/16/10 08:19 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 08:23 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/16/10 08:45 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/16/10 06:39 PM
Re: My court hearing	Miranda	12/15/10 07:42 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 08:13 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	12/15/10 05:31 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	12/15/10 05:37 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/29/10 01:38 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/29/10 01:58 PM
Re: My court hearing	gr8Dad	11/28/10 08:36 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 08:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	11/28/10 08:43 PM
Re: My court hearing	spinnerdegrassi	11/28/10 08:22 PM
Re: My court hearing	english7	11/28/10 08:25 PM

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