Spinner and Miranda,
The account I had prior to marriage was a NYS credit union. I didn't want to keep it if I couldn't drive to it.
For the first couple of months, I wasn't working in VA. No reason for an account.
If you knew how angry he'd get when the subject of money came up, you'd understand why I thought it best to work into it slowly, rationally.
He also had ways of lying to me, telling me he would apply my paycheck to "our" IRA, my share of the mortgage, etc. The day he told me he wanted to use one of my large paycheck to buy more oil stock, I told him I would not sign it. It sat on the table for about two weeks. At the same time, his bank sent him a letter telling him they would no longer allow him to deposit my check since my name was not on the account. He became VERY angry, closed his account with them. The check just sat there, while we argued. He told me I didn't care about helping out financially, that I just wanted money to spend "secretly." That once I was making over 50k, he would not question me about my money. I know some couples have their money in one account, not separate, and it works out very well for them; they wouldn't want to do it any other way.
He got VERY angry. The check sat unsigned longer. I finally agreed to adding my name to his USAA account. He told me I would be able to use it for my needs. Yeah, right. This was shortly before he went crazy.
But if you guys want to find a reason to blame me, this would be it.