Why is this so hard? From what I understand, the marriage was longer than 13 months. Dating for four years before that, it sounds like maybe 5-6 years together. You get married, you make a joint decision to live to together, to combine finances, property, etc. Abuse happens. Now no one may like how sahe handled it, but either you believe it, or you do not. She handled it how she handled it. Next time, I am sure the learning curve will apply. She went home, to NY, to family. The whole divorce was put on hold because of a deployment. It did not have to be, not as long as it was, but ex chose to delay it. Whether it was to try to wear her down, cause her to spend more than it was worth or personal misery, he had the option speed it up.
Once these joint decisions are made when it comes to fiances, and property, etc, why does her number sound so far off. Spousal support for the seperation and division of the property. There is a military retirement in play, that has nto been asked for. Rentals, salary, investments, all easily tracked on paper. The spousal support, while she was his spouse. Not unreasonable. When you throw out one single number for what she is asking, it sounds high. When you look at the combining of fiances, and property, her giving up her job, for them, she put somethign into this marriage, and it does not look like she is taking a lot out when it is all considered. If she had been sitting on her butt eatign bon bons and not even trying that would be one thing, but from what she has posted, she has been working on rebuilding her life not by using this crazy marriage/abuse episode, but by trying to find work, making it work. You go into a marriage thinking forever. It does work out that way, when you leave, you will not get everything back that you put into it, but what she may be getting does not sound unfair. No more than he made certain decisions, decided to do certain things, and because of those, he will lose some things. She has already lost, and is trying to get back, he gained, and wants to give nothing. Somewher ein between is fairness, and the number does not sound unfair.