veggiegirl
recently joined
Reged: 12/28/10
Posts: 6
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Not ready for my new relationship
12/28/10 09:31 PM
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I need some advice as I am not really sure what to do. I'll start with my back story. I started dating my ex when I was 18 - we married when I was 23. He was always very possive and had an explosive temper. I wouldn't consider him technically violent, but he was definetly on the edge. We divorced in 2009 after an incident where he did get very close to that edge of violence - he kicked down the bathroom door when I locked him out. In July 2008 I told a friend of mine that I wanted to leave him but I felt like I needed him to "do something" to justify it. In April 2009 I made a new friend with a guy I will call Tom. My relationship with my ex was really falling apart at this time. My ex blamed it all on this friendship with Tom. At that time Tom and I truly were just friends. He was supportive of me and kept telling me that I deserved better than what I was getting from my ex. My ex and I seperated in June 2009. I filed for divorce in July 2009. The divorce was final in Sept 2009. In July 2009 Tom and I kissed. In Aug 2009 we had sex. Shortly after my divorce we "offically" became exclusive.
Tom is a great guy. He is funny and sweet. He is willing to listen when I have emotional breakdowns. I think he is the man I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
Now comes the problem. I am not emotionally ready to be with someone for the rest of my life. At this stage of my life (27 no children) I want to date. I do not want exclusive relationships. I do not want to have sex with other people. My delima is do I break up with a great guy that I see a great future with because I feel like dating other people that I wouldn't like so well? Because that sounds crazy. Or do I deny my inner feelings and continue in a relationship that I do not feel ready for? That can only lead to heartbreak because eventually I will need to fill that need. I have never really dated in my life - I was exclusive with my ex from 18 and on and then with my current bf from the inbetween time of seperation and divorce until now.
I feel like I am stuck between a rock and hard place with no good options and no matter what I decide to do it will lead to a broken heart. If anyone else has been here, or knows what I am feelings, or just had any advice, I would truly appreciate it.
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