Hi everyone, I'm new here. Let me give you a little background to frame my question:
I'm 46, moved out of the house October 09, divorce was finalized this January. We have a son from this marriage, he's 11, he splits time now with me and his mother (my ex). This was a first marriage for both of us, and there are no other kids.
I met a woman in August of 2010 and even though she lives about an hour away our relationship has become pretty important to both of us. She is also divorced, 42, and has primary custody of her 5 year old son.
For various reasons my ex and my son did not know I was dating anyone until very recently, a couple of weeks ago I told them. Everyone seemed to take it pretty well. My son still hasn't met my girlfriend though, it's just difficult because our schedules are all pretty complicated, plus there is the distance factor.
My son's birthday was last week, and my GF gave me a gift to give him, it was a hooded sweatshirt from Old Navy, probably worth about $20, maybe $15 on sale. My GF works part time at a non-profit, and HER ex is not always prompt with the child support, so she isn't exactly rolling in dough. Therefore I thought this was a nice gesture on her part.
I gave my son the hoodie, explained who it was from, and he seemed to like it. So much so, in fact, that when he came downstairs the next morning for school he was wearing it. I was a little surprised (he still hadn't met GF yet) but let him wear it to school.
The problem arose when my ex picked him up from school that day. She (of course) immediately noticed the new item of clothing, asked who it was from, and apparently got upset when he told her.
She actually made him take the hoodie off and leave it outside my front door, I found it hours later when I came home from work.
My ex says I shouldn't encourage my son to take gifts from "strangers". My stance is while GF is technically a stranger to him she isn't equivalent to some creep handing out candy to children in an alley, she's someone who I know. Then my ex switched her objection to "the gift was inappropriate because it was a personal item, which only a mother should give".
I concede that I should have handled it better, maybe suggesting my son not wear the hoodie to school when I knew his mother would see it when she picked him up. But now my ex is insisting we need a "policy" concerning gift-giving, and she is threatening to bring lawyers and judges into the process.
I think she's overreacting. While I know now not to let him wear something my GF might give him, I don't think we need a specific written policy to cover this minor point of parenting.
What do you think?
Edited by peytonmanning18 (02/18/11 09:19 AM)
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